Snorefest Smackdown

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Christian and Edge are back to host Smackdown!

With a multi-million dollar lawsuit filed because of their attack on Monday Night Raw!

Yay, lawsuits!

But naturally the moment anyone mentions the Authority (in their case, saying that they won’t show up)…well someone has to ruin the moment. While we’re not graced with Seth Rollins’ devilish presence (not at all during the episode in fact) , a mysterious limo does appear. No it’s not the Authority, not a single McMahon in sight, and we know it’s not the ninja Rollins so…

It’s Thing 1 and Thing 2 of J and J security. Wonderful…

Their role for the night is to be official observers (which we learn after they read off Authority’s crap apology). Basically they become unknowing pawns in Edge and Christian’s mischief. Fun fact, the dynamic comedic duo are wonderful artists.

Bray Wyatt vs. Erick Rowan

The first match of the evening goes to these two lovable (maybe?) weirdos! It’s the patriarch versus the follower in this psychological fight. The match is over rather quickly, with Bray being the obvious winner.

After his victory he grabs the microphone and says he’s going to end Dean on Monday during their ambulance match.But hey, at least he ends his monologue with an oh so charming “Follow the buzzards”.

6 Man Tag Team:

Goldust, Stardust, Adam Rose vs R Truth, the Usos

Really this match is Gold and Star versus the Usos, throwing in Rose and Truth just to remind everyone that they’re still a part of the WWE. During the match Gold says some weird…very odd made up word that’s completely comical because he and Star are amazingly entertaining. Naturally the Usos win, but at the end the Rosebuds do attempt an attack.

They just fail…so to celebrate, Truth and the Usos dance in the ring while wearing silly hats.

Ryback vs. Big Show

I just feel the need to point out that Big Show did something rather comical before the match even started. Walking down the run way he stopped and stared at this small human who wanted a high-five. The man honestly stood there, stared at him for a good moment and simply walked away.

What? I found it funny…

Back to the match, Big Show took to trying to destroy Ryback’s ankle (which we learned on Monday was subject to surgery and was broken up to the knee).

During the match as Ryback makes a come back Rusev approaches the ring and causes a distraction. Big Show takes the chance to knock him out. While Ryback is supposed to be knocked out he makes the mistake of opening his eyes right as the camera is above him. Once he notices this he shuts his eyes ever so quickly and it’s hysterical.

Big Show wins because of the knock out ,but Ryback crawls back into the ring anyway. At this time Rusev takes it as an opportunity to attack the monster, only for him to get his ass thoroughly handed to him.

Cesaro, Tyson Kidd vs. Los Matadores

These two are determined to prove themselves as Superstar material. They also want to take the tag team titles away from the Usos. After the match showcases Cesaro’s strength, he and Tyson take the win.

All the while thoroughly ignoring Natalya. Yes, well, at least they’re not fighting for ‘Most Charming’ championship titles.

Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel

This wasn’t even really a match. Before the bell even rang Dean attacked Axel and left him a mess in the ring after using dirty deeds. He then grabs the microphone, walks over to an ambulance and so eloquently threatens Bray Wyatt. In a very, very graphic, violent way, he plans on ending the man.

Ascension vs. Nameless people I don’t know….?

The rising duo won over these two people whom I haven’t the slightest idea of their identities.

Main Event: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

Must this even be said? No one will ever pin Rusev, which…I’m getting bored of that notion. These two brawl and go back and forth showcasing their strengths, only for Big Show to show up and cause a distraction. Unfortunately for him, he was subject to a punch in the mouth delivered by Roman himself. Rusev tries to use this as a distraction but Roman kicks out of the pin. When Roman later tries to pin him, Big Show pulls him out of the ring. That leads to a disqualification and Roman taking the win.

BUT…

After Big Show beats Roman down, Reigns takes his revenge. He flips Big Show over the announcer’s table, then flips the entire table over him. Déja vu, right?

In Conclusion: Smackdown was boring, and has become a boring filler to last us until Monday Night Raw.

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