For this special recording of Smackdown, half of the crew is away in Abu-Dhabi for the live shows. That means wrestlers who have been in deep freeze for some time are allowed to be defrosted for just this one night! It also means that Kane and his best buddy in the entire world the Big Show will take over for the evening.
Kane speaks to the leftovers and announces that the Main Event for the evening will be a tag team turmoil match. Fun, that should take up a solid hour of the two hour program.
Bray Wyatt vs. R Truth
I told you, on this special night wrestlers left in the freezer step out once more to remind the crowd they exist!
During this match in an attempt to Swallow Truth’s face with his own butt, Bray hits the mat after Truth rolls out of the way. Which leads to Bray nearly giving his butt a second crack. However that did not slow him down as he manages to hit Truth with ‘sister Abigail’ before pinning him for the win.
Paige vs. Summer Rae
With the Bellas on commentary, not a single person is paying attention to the match. No one calls out any of the moves or what’s happening within the ring until Paige finally wins by submission using her PTO.
Adam Rose vs. Fandango
It’s tool vs tool in this special match up. Fandango wins with his ‘last dance’, and Rose predictably throws a tantrum and beats up a few of his rosebuds. Geez, someone send that guy to anger management already.
Tag Team Turmoil
Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns vs….
1) Miz and Mizdow
Daniel and Roman are angrily trash talking each other for a duration of the match. Both are tagging themselves in and getting on one another’s nerves like a couple of school children. The end result is Daniel pinning the Miz for the win.
2) The Usos
The Usos prove to be a challenge for the dysfunctional tag-team. The fact that they are cousins to Roman Reigns only makes it more difficult of a task for Reigning Goats. When the twins are out of the ring and Daniel is delivering a particularly brutal beating to one of them, Roman is found to interfere saying to get him in the ring and win the right way.
Roman’s interference in trying to make sure his cousins aren’t too badly hurt and to attempt to win show that while he may have a chip on his shoulder, it doesn’t keep him from doing the right thing.
That’s character, creative, not a large man talking about a bean stalk and fairy tales.
Daniel ultimately gets Jey in the ‘yes lock’ for the win.
3) Los Matadores
This was a sort of breather from the previously long match. Daniel wins with another ‘yes lock’.
4)Titus O’Neil, Heath Slater
Hey Heath, good to see you in the ring! To welcome you back, take a spear from Roman Reigns and get pinned for the loss.
During this match Roman showcases his strength and ferocity by decimating this tag-team on his own, genuinely surprising Daniel Bryan.
5) The Ascension
Apparently the Ascension don’t understand the concept of a tag team match. These two are disqualified for their brutality and determination to injure these two stars rather than compete fairly.
6) Big Show and Kane
All these two giants have to do is take out the already injured and exhausted competitors of Team Reigning Goats. Apparently they cannot do that. All they do is bicker and go back and forth with each other much like Roman and Daniel were doing earlier in the evening.
Having enough of Kane, Big Show delivers a knock out punch before getting speared by Roman. This allows Daniel to pin him for the win, leaving Daniel and Roman as victorious.
Now I’m just curious, if this was to lead to a face turn does that mean Big Show and Seth Rollins would get a divorce? Who would get custody of their children, J&J security? Would there be visitation rights, child support? These are the questions I need to be answered…mostly because this episode of Smackdown was a waste of time and didn’t do much for anyone except showcase the type of competitor the WWE Universe wants Roman to be. Actually, it also showcased the athleticism of Daniel Bryan. Both put on amazing performances given the circumstances.
…But since nothing else really happened, now I have to make up my own entertainment in the form of a crumbling marriage.
As per usual Smackdown offered nothing new, but with half a crew it was especially boring.
Don’t feel bad if you missed the show, it wasn’t that special.