SmackDown: All Dat Hype 3/26/15

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WrestleMania is so close yet feels just so far away! As a little teaser of what’s to come, SmackDown starts and launches right into a Fatal 4-Way Match!

Big E vs. Cesaro vs. Fernando vs. Jimmy Uso

We’ve got everyone in the punch bowl this evening and as one would expect, it’s a ridiculous free for all. People are flying left and right, jumping off of ropes or being sent out of the ring.

If you’re Big E however, you throw everyone at the same time.

It starts when Cesaro tries to suplex Fernando off of the ropes, Jimmy Uso then joins in and decides to lend a lovely helping hand. Big E did not want to feel left out of the party, so he grabbed everyone and suplexed them all at once.

In the end, Jimmy Uso wins by performing a lovely ‘splash’ off the top turn buckle and pinning Cesaro.

AXXESS Live:

  • Brock Lesnar staying with WWE
  • Shoutout to the audio team for leaving us in an awkward silence during the IC belt promo
  • Fatal 4-Way for tag team titles AND Battle Royal are during the pre-show

Promo:Divas Verbal Brawl

AJ Lee starts the showdown by first calling the Bella twins prissy, pampered mannequins whose asses she will kick. Then she invites Paige out who accuses AJ of simply not wanting Paige to hold the title therefore, obviously ruining the match previously on RAW. Just as these two are about to make up the Bella Twins enter, and really, everyone just wants to be like them.

Nikki Bella calls out AJ’s lack of appearances, even saying that Brock Lesnar worked more days than her and that if AJ held the title she’d never be around to defend it. Nikki claims that she was the one running the show while AJ was gone…and quite honestly? This is finally one of the rare times Nikki cuts a promo that’s actually good and goes beyond the high school attitude.

AJ’s retort is that they are D-List failed actresses that she and Paige do not want to be like. She also says that she and Paige are examples of real women and just…no sweetie, never go there, that’s a whole other storm that can arise from such a comment.

Nikki gears up for a fight, but Brie stops her. Instead as they’re backing up she leaves them with a charming “See you bitches at WrestleMania”. Now that’s how you do a diva’s feud, without the high school petty drama.

John Cena, Mark Henry, Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins, Kane, Big Show, Bray Wyatt

Roman and Seth start the match off, and as ex-brothers do, they simply toy and taunt one another.

Wow, Seth has a horrible tendency to piss off people that he is considered to be brothers with. Someone should look into this pattern, it’s a little concerning.

For a good while, Roman dominates the match, his way of showing how ready he is for WrestleMania this Sunday. Eventually however he does tag in Mark Henry who is simply begging to get into the ring and unleash the sexual chocolate.

….Hm, that doesn’t sound good does it?

At some point while John and Seth are in the ring the crowd seems to be chanting ‘this is awful’. Most likely as a result of the way RAW went off the air since SmackDown was recorded immediately after with the same crowd.  As expected, the crowd is only happy when Daniel Bryan enters the ring to combat Seth.

In the end, after Roman goes ‘super samoan’ (Super-Samoan, can I copyright that?) while Daniel is the legal man, John and Mark lend some helping hands. This ultimately gives Daniel the chance to hit Big Show with the ‘running knee’ before pinning him for the win.

Well, now that two big matches have been moved to the pre-show, one has to wonder just what in the hell are they doing during WrestleMania to need four hours excluding those two matches? Really? Is Triple H going to have a short film for his entrance? Will Bray Wyatt have this elaborate way of floating in like a firefly?

Okay, Bray wouldn’t do that, but it would be quite the sight if he did.

One has to wonder just what they’re doing with this WrestleMania.

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