SmackDown begins with John Cena explaining what a Russian Chain Match is. Now I believe the concept was something along the lines of incapacitating your opponnent long enough to touch all four corners of the ring. Oh, and chains will just be thrown in somehow.
Okay, that’s a novel idea.
Cena of course issues his open challenge once again. Cesaro and Tyson come out, not to accept the challenge but to drop some facts. One of those being that London doesn’t deserve a WrestleMania. The other being that they loved the chants from RAW on Monday Night, granted it was the ‘please retire’ chants, they still loved it. Even if it wasn’t directed at John Cena like they wished.
John in turn challenges one of them to step up and fight him.
Enter Daniel Bryan! He says that since these two fact droppers are the best champions, he challenges them to face himself and John Cena, two other great champions.
Natalya accepts! Tyson of course however has to ‘officially’ accept afterwards. Or rather, just accept so it seems like they all came to the mutual agreement.
Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth
This was a ridiculously quick match, put to a quick end by Abigail’s kiss delivered by Bray before pinning R-Truth for the win.
At least the face of fear that Truth had when Bray performed his spider walk was absolutely comical.
The Miz vs. Bad News Barrett
Miz goes on and on about how he made The Marine 4, Mizdow, and his glorified extra of a girlfriend. The Miz is quite clearly too hung up on Mizdow and can’t get over the fact that they’ve gone their separate ways.
Enter Bad News Barrett who not-so-kindly reminds him they’re not in Hollywood anymore. Basically, they’re in BNB’s house now.
As per ritual, Miz takes off his galsses at the start of every match. As soon as he’s done removing them he turns around and receives a bull hammer elbow right to the face. BNB pins him and takes the win.
Well that was quick.
Promo: Renee, Mizdow, Summer Rae
Renee asks Mizdow how it felt to get a victory over Miz on Raw.
Mizdow’s response? It feels like a bright Summer Rae (awww how cute?)
Enter the Miz who immediately sends Renee out so he can conduct the rest of the interview. He’s livid that Mizdow still uses his gimmick and he wants him to stop. They banter back and forth all the while Mizdow is mockingly mimicking him leads to a gimmick match. The loser has to drop ‘The Miz’ act.
Bonus: Miz insults Summer Rae and instead of Mizdow needing to defend her, she slaps Miz into the next century all by herself. Well done!
Sheamus vs. Neville
Things just got historical all up in this bitch.
Sheamus takes it back quite some time by reminding everyone how the Irish don’t like “You English bastards.” Rude, but right to the point.
Sheamus starts the match by toying with Neville and not taking it seriously in the slightest. Only when the smaller competitor begins to kick him and throw him around every which way possible does he begin to put in some effort. He does quite a lot of damage to Neville until the man can regain control and unleash his own flurry of combos.
Sheamus had enough of Neville nearly putting an end to him countless times. He slams neville onto the announce table which causes Neville to win by disqualification. Not having enough of him, Sheamus pulls him off and throws him back into the ring to stomp on him.
Dolph Ziggler enters the ring and hits Sheamus from behind, causing the man to retreat. He challenges him and calls him out while Sheamus is running away. There’s a bit of back and forth banter, Dolph even going as far to say that he’s standing up to the bully that is Sheamus.
This leads to Sheamus challenging him to a Kiss Me Arse match at Extreme Rules.
Los Matadores vs. Kofi, Big E (New Day)
During this match Torito takes it upon himself to start ‘New Day sucks’ chants on more than one occasion. That angers Xavier Woods who tries to get rid of him, only to be hurricanrana’ed at ringside.
In the end, Kofi and Big E double team one of the matadores before pinning him for the win.
Promo: Rosa and Fandango
Rosa just wants to know what happened between her and her love Fandango. Her love calmly explains that he dumped her in front of the entire universe and she needs to move on. He leaves just before Adam Rose and the Rosebuds dance right on by her. Adam clearly expresses that he wants Rosa to join him.
Hmmm, Rose and Rosa. Interesting.
Promo: Big Show
“No one in the world can stop me.” Big Show declared.
I’d like to point out that is not true, Roman has stopped him several times before, and he is not the only one to do so.
After gloating about all the damage he did to the car by using Roman Reigns, he states that the Authority granted him his lovely wish. At Extreme Rules he will face Roman Reigns in a Last Man Standing match.
Oh dear god no. Please no. Anything but this. I’d rather see Big Show have a therapy session as to why the hell he’s so obsessed with Roman.
Alicia Fox vs. Natalya vs. Cameron
In the beginning of the match Alicia and Natalya immediately go for Cameron, remembering what she had done to them once before.
In this match Natalya does perform an impressive double suplex to both of her opponents. Cameron manages to prove her own by rolling up Natalya countless times to counter Natalya, both women nearly getting a pin.
Surprisingly, Cameron pins Natalya for the win.
Alicia Fox does manage to throw a lovely tantrum, showing some shades of Christian.
Ah, nice to see her having hissy fits again.
Fandango vs. Adam Rose
During this match (with minimal crowd reaction btw) Rosa comes out to try to talk to Fandango. While she’s yelling at him wondering how he could leave her like that, Adam drop kicks Fandango while he’s distracted.
He also flirts a bit with Rosa.
Back in the ring Rosa is trying to explain to Adam that she just wants to talk to Fandango. This allows Fandango to roll Adam up and pin him for the win.
Promo: Bray Wyatt
“The reaper walks in the daylight.”
Who the hell are you talking about and what the hell are you even saying these days?! Who walks in daylight? Kane? EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.
Tyson Kidd, Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan, John Cena
During the match John Cena takes a majority of the bumps. At one point he is kept from tagging Daniel Bryan in because Tyson Kidd pulls him off of the apron. John finally tags Daniel in so he can finish up the match.
Natalya climbs onto the apron and she begins to tell Daniel to stop fighting Tyson (or to be gentle, couldn’t tell). Tyson tries to capitalize this and hit Daniel from behind, but instead he ends up knocking Natalya right off the apron. Luckily for her Cesaro catches her!
…Before tossing her aside to climb into the ring and help Tyson, only to get an AA from Cena.
In the end Daniel gets Tyson to submit to the yes lock.
Well this was a so-so episode of SmackDown. It seems that as the recaps get longer and longer the matches just get shorter and shorter. The matches themselves weren’t extraordinarily spectacular. Perhaps things will be better on RAW.