Why is Shawn Michaels Staying Retired?

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Each and every appearance Shawn Michaels makes is cherished. When he steps into the ring, the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home always go absolutely berserk. All it takes is the first note of his entrance to have everyone standing up and cheering.

A man as popular as himself can’t retire ‘peacefully’, which actually isn’t a bad thing if you think about it. No, people aren’t sending him death threats or anything (that I know of), they just don’t want him to stay retired! Everyone wants HBK back in action, delivering sweet chin music one devastating note at a time! Shawn is still as popular as ever, and people are always begging for just one more match.

However, Shawn Michaels wishes to stay retired.

But why? Why would a man with that much star power wish to stay away? He would be welcomed back with open arms! He’d command the crowds, and everyone would still worship the ramp he trotted and danced upon. Besides, his best friend is there, and one of the head honchos might I add. What possible reason could Shawn Michaels have for staying retired?

Well….have you….have you seen the kind of drama Triple H has to deal with?

It’s ridiculous! Why in the hell would anyone want to go back to that? He already had to show his rear-end countless times in his youth. He’s at a point in his life where he may not want to expose those cheeks so much.

Shawn Michaels would have to deal with Kane who’s really not in the right emotional state right now. Kane would end up choke-slamming his boss’ best friend, and then where would Shawn be?

Probably a retirement home.

Then there’s J&J security. We all remember Shawn and Hunter’s history with, ahem, little people. That did not work too well.

Then there’s the Big Show.

….

Right.

Anyway, the biggest problem Shawn Michaels would have is absolutely with Seth Rollins. The sheer entitlement Seth Rollins has would lead to Shawn disciplining the child in ways that Stephanie would surely scream and pitch a fit about. It’s not exactly a good idea to beat your best friend’s golden child anyway, that may lead to some drama. Even if said child is horrible. Shawn Michaels would set Seth straight so fast that he would never act like such a brat again…

…Or…he’d realize the error of his ways and reform the Shield, which no one would ever want to happen.

Plus, Shawn would simply be dragged into all of their problems. The man does not find it appealing to be randomly assaulted just for being aligned with his best friend’s crew. He does not wish to be speared anytime soon, nor does he want to be curb stomped executed by Seth because he insulted his hair. The thought of having to listen to Kane and Big Show argue makes the remaining hair he has fall out of his head due to stress.

The thought of hearing Stephanie McMahon scream and sound exactly like her father sends chills down Shawn’s spine.

While yes, Triple H is his best friend, and he would do just about anything for him…he’s staying as far away from this train-wreck of a family as possible.

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