SmackDown: The Tale of Broken Brothers (5/7/15)


The night starts with Jerry Lawler discussing the recent King of the Ring tournament. Naturally this means that the new king, King Barrett needs to make an entrance, and also be hailed by the former King as his ego finds it necessary. Really, this man has no manners! He’s so utterly rude and arrogant and–..huh, he’s actually the perfect King.

Before Barrett can deliver the bull hammer to Lawler for not wanting to praise him, Dolph intercepts and thus leads to our first match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

Dolph wins by disqualification when Sheamus interrupts the match to brutally beat him.

Well the intentions were noble! Dolph wished to teach Barrett a lesson in manners–rightfully so, as ideally a king should be kind and not an arrogant turd. Sadly, Barrett lives up to the reputation of being an awful and brutal king. So much so that his celtic warrior buddy interferes and together they gang up on Dolph until Neville can arrive to lend a helping hand.

Dolph Ziggler, Neville vs. Sheamus, Bad News Barrett

Dolph and Neville take the win for this match after Dolph pins BNB for the win.

Round two, with added competitors! Sheamus seems especially sour about not being the King and letting these wrestlers that he has deemed to be little and unmanly beat him. See that children? Brutallity does not always win.

Promo:Renee with Dean Ambrose

How does he feel about the odds of the one in four chance of walking out as the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion? Not bad actually, better odds than he had before. But, he’s excited for the chaos which will be the contract signing!

Luke Harper vs. Fandango

Luke Harper pins Fandango for the win.

Well this is an odd match up. Although, one has to appreciate the either confused or disturbed stare from Luke to Fandango. That’s quite an accomplishment if you make Luke stare at you like you’re the crazy one.

Well, something even crazier happens.

After Luke pins Fandango for the win, Erick Rowan makes an entrance. We all remember Erick and Roman being brotherly as a part of the Wyatt family. So as good brothers do, Rowan assaults the already down and defeated Fandango as though he’s trying to appeal to his brother.

Well right on then guys! Two Wyatts are always more terrifying than one.

In Ring Promo:Lana

As Lana suggests that the audience do not cheer for her because it angers Rusev, said Bulgarian Brute decides to charge the ring and berate her.

After Rusev sends Lana away, Rusev goes on to insult Cena as he usually does. He issues a challenge to meet face to face on Raw, and then goes on to vow that he will make him say ‘I Quit’.

Honestly Rusev, I’m more concerned about your relationship with Lana.

PRomo:Renee and Roman Reigns.

In regards to any conflicting emotions going into Payback…Roman has none. He trusts Dean, hates Randy and Seth…nothing out of the norm here! But even though Dean is his brother, Roman’s still going to bring the biggest fight he can to Payback and get that belt.

New Day vs. Tyson Kidd, Cesaro, Ryback

New Day wins the match after Kofi pins Tyson by holding the tights.

Well if you’re going to have someone on your team to utterly destroy the men that stole your championship, may as well be Ryback, right? These two fact droppers seem to love working with Ryback. You’ve got Tyson and Cesaro flying around while Ryback and Cesaro are performing standing suplexes as though they’re as simple as breathing. New Day was having none of it, even complaining to the announce team. Well, ya can’t have it all guys.

But they can have the win! Just Bray Wyatt’s short entrance playing was enough to throw Ryback off and allow New Day to capitalize.

Promo:Renee and Randy Orton

How does Randy feel about having three competitors now? Especially facing three former members of the Shield? He doesn’t care, he’s going to take them all out on his own and get the belt at Payback.

Emma vs. Naomi

Naomi wins after pinning Emma.

Well clearly Naomi was intent on making Emma her bitch to send a message to the rest of the Divas. With Tamina on the sidelines and in her corner, that makes Naomi all the more intimidating. Really, Tamina is the ever so threatening enforcer that no one ever wants to cross. Although, it probably was worse then Tamina entered the ring after the match and helped to beat up Emma.

Promo:Renee and Seth Rollins…and J&J Security

How does he feel heading into the contract signing?

Ah, more gloating and self-worship on how he won the belt at WrestleMania and how he’s so glorious and the belt is all his. Oh, and he makes sure to point out that he has a brain, and Kane does not.

Well, I hope you enjoyed breathing Seth, because Kane is going to make sure that at some point you never breathe again.

Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons

Lucha Dragons take the win after Sin Cara pins…one of the Matadores!

New Day better watch out, as two more tag teams are going at it in the hopes of getting the opportunity to take the championship belts. I doubt the Lucha Dragons have forgotten their loss, and right now they’re just building up to the day where they can eliminate New Day.

Los Matadores are so heartbroken that they can’t even stand Torito, hurling the little bull half way across the ring with one hand. Well, that’s just not nice.

Contract Signing for Payback Fatal 4-Way Match

Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, Dean Ambrose

Oh look, Kane is in charge of the signing that has to be good.

…Especially good considering three of these men wish to kill Seth with their bare hands, one can’t blame him for not wanting to go to the ring. All three men sign the contract and are foaming at the mouth for Seth to join them.

Seth’s plan was for Kane to sign it for him, but after insulting Kane…well that wasn’t going to happen. So Justin Bieber Seth heads to the ring and makes Joey physically enter and get it for him.

Seth tries to drive a wedge between Roman and Dean by saying the two men would insult each other behind their backs. Roman couldn’t wrestle his way out of a wet paper bag, Dean was a low-rent Roddy Piper…and both men said Randy was a spoiled brat only in the WWE because of his father.

Well Seth, a fine tactic in stirring up a fight, and quite a fight he stirs up.

Ambrose knows how contract signings end, so he wastes no time in setting the ring up for a brawl while Seth and Kane are bickering.

The last man left standing is the WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins after he manages to turn every single person in the ring against each other.Yes, for the Shield fans out there, this includes a shoving match between Dean and Roman that ends in Dean taking an RKO which Roman had no intention of saving him from.

Alright well, Payback is going to be interesting. What started as a belief that the two would take out Randy just to get to Seth has turned into every man for himself–which is usually what one would expect. I can’t wait to see what happens on RAW, something tells me Seth will be cuddling with his belt and cackling in delight. All the while Dean and Roman will fight as brothers do and try to put the other in the hospital.


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