SmackDown: Bromance of the Year Leaves For a Jealous Kane (5/14/15)


When the evening is supposed to start, Bray Wyatt rudely interrupts the SmackDown introduction so he may call out Ryback.  All he wants to do is expose Ryback’s weakness and make an example out of him. While Bray is so very eloquent in his threat, I’m still wondering why this feud came to be, but one just has to go with the ride.

Oh, and admire his shirt that’s very reminiscent of Day of the Dead.

Now on a very slightly less crazy note, Dean Ambrose enters the ring. The lunatic admits that he enjoys flying solo and plans on standing alone with the belt come this Sunday. Although, he does point out that he did hit his best friend with Dirty Deeds, just in time for Roman Reigns to come out.

Dean tells Roman he’s not going to apologize, and Roman admits he wasn’t expecting that in the first place. He expected Dean to hit first. But don’t worry everyone, Roman plans on getting Payback on Seth this Sunday…at Payback….and if he has to hit Dean along the way? Then so be it.

These two don’t hate each other, they just want a good, fair fight to see who can murder Seth first.

Kane decides he wants to end the bromance of the year. Bitter old corporate Kane decides that it’s best for business if Dean goes one on one with Sheamus.

…After Sheamus gets out of the hairdresser’s chair. Seriously guys, that beard doesn’t just magically braid itself.

Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus

Dean Ambrose wins one over Sheamus with a roll up.

Well, the brawler meets the reckless and ruthless celtic warrior. While Sheamus has no personal vendetta against Dean (as of late at least), he simply can’t miss out on an opportunity to brutally destroy someone. As for Dean, well this is just a good time to prove himself for the fatal four-way. Though, this must be very, very bad for Sheamus’ ego.

Promo: Kane, Seth Rollins, J&J

Apparently Seth just wants to make sure that Kane got the memo that he’ll be fired if Seth loses at Payback. The golden child just doesn’t understand that threatening Kane into doing what’s best for business, really may not be what’s best for Seth in the slightest.

In Ring Promo:Rusev and Lana

Lana’s forced to read a statement of apology of how she wronged mother Russia, before giving the microphone to Rusev. Naturally, the brute mocks John Cena for being a failure before promising to get John Cena to say ‘I Quit’.

Considering you’re up against Super Cena, we all know you won’t win, Rusev, hate to burst the Russian bubble of Vodka and Pride.

Promo: Ryback, Renee

Ryback assures the universe that he’s not some dumb meathead that Bray thinks him to be, and he’ll be sure to take care of him, as well as his opponent for the night, Seth Rollins.

Seth Rollins vs. Ryback

Before the match can begin Seth feels the need to remind everyone that he is the scavenger that will wait until everyone has killed each other before he capitalizes and wins to retain the title.

Oh, and the second interruption is a giggling Bray Wyatt attacking Ryback out of nowhere. What a cheeky little psychopath. Eventually though Ryback is able to recover and start the match, much to Seth’s dismay.

One’s gotta be impressed with Ryback managing to hold out for as long as he did. Considering he was blindsided by the swamp thing, you’d expect him to not continue on with the match. However, he still had the strength to carry on….and Seth had J&J security to help him out every now and then.

Seth Rollins wins after super kicking Ryback right back to catering.

Promo:Renee with Naomi, Tamina

Naomi and Tamina run the division now. Naomi the star athlete and Tamina the pure powerhouse. They’re tired of being passed over for opportunities just because they don’t happen to be a pair of twins dating the two biggest names of the company. Well, time to get things done their way!

New Day vs. Tyson Kidd

Tyson Kidd wins when he gets Kofi to tap out to the sharpshooter.

Representing New Day, Kofi Kingston goes up against Tyson Kidd. Now word on the street is New Day feels as though Tyson and Cesaro are just a bunch of cheaters. Well, I suppose as the school children say, it takes one to know one, doesn’t it Kofi?

Bo Dallas vs. Neville

King Barrett on commentary

Neville wins the match with the red arrow.

Bo’s just here to capitalize on the fact that Daniel Bryan has failed the WWE Universe in managing to keep his neck from getting all sorts of busted. Not that it’s busted at the moment, but there’s definitely issues there, and Bo is perfectly fine with that. King Barrett’s presence is him notifying everyone that he is just not in the mood to deal with a peasant such as Neville

Promo: Rosa, Adam Rose

The rosebuds learn that Adam Rose has no intent on paying them. Poor Carl the Hotdog man is sacrificed to the floor.

Then Kane walks in on the most awkward and disgusting exchange of spit between Rosa and Rose that, quite frankly, manages to even disgust the semi-demonic-corporate-Kane.

Kane vs. Roman Reigns

Roman wins after spearing Kane right through a table.

Kane was so eager to get his hands all over the Samoan that Roman hadn’t even cleared the barrier when he attacked. This time however, Roman was ready for it! Geez, looks like some of the Reigns fangirls have competition with Kane. Seth is really getting into Kane’s head, just pushing this man to attack everyone and prove himself until the demon can come out.

Kendo sticks were used, stairs were abused, announce tables were wrecked and not one, but two tables were brought out to play to be used in sickening choke slams and spears.

Promo: Renee, Seth

How’s Seth’s confidence in going into payback? Perfectly fine, Seth’s not bothered in the slightest by Roman’s performance. He’s not intimidated by Roman, Randy, or Dean…who happens to be standing behind him and his security team, just chowing down on cookies.

Dean takes out the hobbits and Seth along with the help of Roman who saves him in the nick of time. Both men’s gazes fall to the championship belt.

Roman offers a hand, to which Dean ignores and instead decides to pick up the belt. Roman’s not amused, but he even moves on to becoming slightly confused when Dean slaps the belt on Roman’s shoulder and promises to take it on Sunday.

Oh dear, Shield fans hearts are all over the place right now.

Let us not forget Kane, who’s on a hot losing streak right now. Things can’t be going well inside the brain of Corporate Kane. Seth should be worried about this, since the man is supposed to make sure that Seth remains the champion leaving Payback this Sunday.

Ah well, nothing can possibly go wrong.


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