Why Doesn’t WWE Make Underwear That Looks Like Wrestler’s Trunks?

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Bonus post of the week because, well, because I have free will and am more than capable of doing that ladies and gentlemen.

Really though, why doesn’t WWE make underwear that looks like the “performer’s” trunks?! This seems like it would be an absolute goldmine.

Wait a minute, no, forget that. It wouldn’t be a goldmine it’d be a platinum….bank. Or…something…very expensive like that, who knows. I don’t know, I’m cheap.

You would think that a company which has done everything from ice cream bars to Scooby Doo movies would have already capitalized on this. Especially since they have everything from bibs, to gift cards, to dog collars,all conveniently found for John Cena.

So where is the underwear that says ‘U Can’t C Me’? Because really, you can’t! They’re covered by pants! Unless of course you and the wearer happen to have a very intimate relationship. In which case, I hope you all enjoy.

You know? What if I want my butt to say ‘Unstable’ on it? Because, well, sometimes after Chipotle or a visit to a sketchy food truck that’s exactly what happens!

Hey, Roman Reigns has a shirt that says ‘hit hard, hit often’. Do you know how much they would make if they put that on underwear? It can be a twin pack. Both in the same colors of the shirt. One would say ‘hit hard’ and the other would read ‘hit often’. Guaranteed people would be all over that.

There’s dog collars, gift cards, bibs, Ugg knock offs, and yet, no underpants!

This is blasphemous.

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