Trying something new from now on with RAW and SmackDown. Rather than recap the entire show with my B++ witty and absolutely glorious humor, I’m going to stick to the highlights. After all, if you really want super serious notes on what happened–I am not the person to go too. There’s too much enjoyment and sarcasm to be ultra serious here.
Now of course, these are my personal highlights. Meaning what I specifically found to be rather enjoyable–or needing my beautiful commentary.
Stephanie: You don’t need our help.
A promo between Stephanie, Hunter, and their golden boy Seth Rollins. They reinforce Seth’s comments last week of him not needing any sort of help. The parents are sending their boy off to college–ready to see him do everything on his own. Of course they’re surely enjoying his misery, seeing as how Dean is flaunting the title all around New Orleans.
Oh dear, I’m loving this. They’re eventually going to disown him and it’s going to be beautiful.
Kane: You’re not even in the match!
R-Truth interrupts Dolph, Roman, and Kane’s little banter over the MITB ladder match. He’s so confident about it because he overcame his fear of ladder matches and he doesn’t even realize he’s not in the match. It was hysterical,and at least he owned up to his honest, yet precious mistake before leaving. Don’t worry R-Truth, we too were surprised that you’re not in the match.
Jamie: Seth, you know Joey’s sensitive.
That’s it, that’s the highlight. Sensitive Joey Mercury looking like he’s ready to bawl his eyes out. Too funny for this world.
Well that might be because I’m an insensitive jerk.
Oh I’m sorry. Jamie also finally stood up to Seth. The hobbits have turned on their keeper. Jamie said that Seth would be nothing without the Authority. Oh dear. Now there’s a slap fight and–
JOEY MERCURY SPEAKS?!
It’s serious right now you guys. It just got real.
Side note, I forgot what Joey’s voice sounded like. It was very, very weird when I finally heard it again.
Miz: Can I be blunt with you? You’re ugly
Miz TV. Oh my god. Miz is an actual five year old. This is hysterical.
Ryback shell-shocked Big Show
Yeah I couldn’t do that. I complain about carrying my books to and from campus. But that? Was quite the impressive feet. Spine breaking, but impressive.
Dean entering the arena with popcorn, beads, and a front row seat courtesy of Roman Reigns.
Really, it’s absurd. It’s so ridiculous and absolutely comical. Well done. Plus we can’t forget all the marvelous pictures of him on Instagram toting the belt all around New Orleans. Clips of him partying and having a good time would have been great, but this will have to do.
Well considering this leads to the Main event…I’ll have to add some bullets.
- Dean pouring popcorn on Seth
- Cheering for the hobbits
- The killer arm drag Joey did to Seth
- Jamie all sorts of fired up, executing a beautiful swinging neck breaker
- Basically the Hobbits tossing the champion around.
Plus we can’t forget…Joey Mercury rolling Seth up for the win as Seth bends down to grab his title. Oh dear. Well then. This looks unfortunate for Seth.
So, how’s this format? Better or worse than before? Somewhat decent? Or everything is crappy and should no longer exist? I’m just kidding about that last one. Don’t pick that last one.