It’s the night after Money in the Bank, and you know what that means! Celebrations will be had, emotions will be experienced, and very ‘oooohhhh’ worthy actions will take place!
Was that generic enough? I feel like that was generic enough that I can just replace the PPV title for every Monday Night RAW’s highlights that’s followed by a PPV.
I’m just kidding, I would never do that. Not purposely anyway. More like I’d forget I had already written something similar, but that’s okay!
Seth Rollins thanks himself for getting where he was.
Several times. Several dozen times. Well, congratulations I suppose.
In doing so, he says he did it without anyone’s help and needed no one. He even said he didn’t need Triple H or Stephanie. Mommy and daddy will not be amused in the slightest.
Camera man caught in frame.
I am so sorry if you were fired after that, sir.
Dean stages a sit in!
The man wants Seth Rollins back so he could thoroughly give him a beating and ruin his life. Ah, the sit-in, a tried and true and always entertaining tactic.
Seth makes a ‘Dumb and Dumber’ reference.
Joey is Harry, Jamie is Lloyd. All is right with the world.
Everything gets better when Joey accuses Seth of being afraid of him and keeps Seth from interrupting him. Me thinks Joey’s going to try and steal that title next.
R-Truth’s king costume
A plunger, a fake crown, and a bed sheet. Wow…I just…alright. That was really um….I don’t even want to go there, moving on!
Kevin Owens says John Cena isn’t a gracious winner
Because Cena wanted to make him shake his hand after the match and continue to hog the spotlight. Hm, I never thought of it in a disrespectful way. Duly noted. I now have an excuse for the next time I want to power bomb a bitch.
…Then he throws Dolph over the barricade into the time keeper’s area.
That was cool, the man was airborne like a disease. Good stuff.
Paige: Why? Because of who they’re married to?!
GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!
Shots fired by WWE Creative: That the Bella Twins are only where they’re at today because of the top stars they’re married to (John Cena and Daniel Bryan). Well. That’s exactly what Give Divas a Chance stands for.
..But uh, technically…Brie and Daniel are the only two that are married in this particular situation. Man, whoever does the writing for the Divas is just slacking.
Seth insults Kane, and mentions Paul Bearer and Undertaker
…then Kane grabs Seth by his delicate little shirt (probably 24.99 in the WWE shop) and threatens to never mention his family again or he will eviscerate him. Ah, a flashback to Kane back when he was the intimidating big red monster.
Miz beats Big Show…
…via count out, because the big doofy giant was distracted by arguing with Ryback at ringside. Beautiful, well done Miz.
Hey, it’s a legitimate strategy!
Bray Wyatt is the Joker to Roman Reigns’ Batman
Seriously. Bray says they’re yin and yang, they balance each other out. Am I the only one having flashbacks to The Dark Knight? Yeah. I need a new hobby.
Bray Wyatt then makes a particularly…dark remark.
Well, not so much a remark as a taunt. Singing ‘I’m a little tea pot’ while admiring a picture of Roman and his tiny human. Things just took a very scary, very personal turn.
I can dig it.
Seth Rollins’ surprise opponent of the night!
Seth said there was no one on the roster that was capable of taking the belt from him. Well, his parents thought that through quite thoroughly.
As an act of his parents officially denouncing Seth as their son, and leaving him on the church steps, they announce Seth’s opponent to be…
Or Brock Lesnar, if you’re not Paul Heyman.
Seth Rollins is officially abandoned on the church steps in Suplex City, bitch. Rather than fight or step up to Brock, all Seth did was leave the ring and slowly retreat.
See, at least when Randy was abandoned by his parents he did so with pride. Seth just walked away. How unfortunate. Ah well, this is going to make for an amazing and fun five weeks ahead.