Ah, Monday Night RAW! I’m sure everyone is jumping up and down with uncontrollable excitement, waiting to see Brock Lesnar pummel Seth Rollins. Let’s be honest now, that’s probably not going to happen until the end of the night, but hey, I’m no mind reader.
So for now, everyone will have to settle for my little bag o’ highlights leading up to the imminent doom.
Oh I was wrong, Brock Lesnar started off the night.
Well, this is awkward. Please don’t run me out of town for that failure of a prediction.
Michael Cole’s absolute fear of Brock Lesnar
Jumping up to get as far away from the beast as possible when all Brock wants to do is approach the table and issue an apology. Honestly, it’s really rude of Michael. You don’t have to forgive him, but just acknowledge that he apologized!
Or…apologize to him for not wanting to accept his apology, and then get uh…manhandled as though he was Brock’s little brother with a little noogie. So precious.
Seth wanting to get the band back together…
…pulling the ‘family’ card so he could get Kane to help him when the time comes for him to face Brock Lesnar. See what happens when you do all that trash-talking Seth? You screw yourself over.
Big E angrily eating vegetables.
Really, who angrily eats vegetables as they watch the new tag team champions have a match? That’s so weird, and strange, and I’m wondering when greens suddenly became a rage-fueling vegetable.
But more importantly–was that a celery stalk? Lettuce? I couldn’t get quite a good look at his snack, but Michael Cole said it was celery and I will listen to everything he says ever because he is never wrong and never makes a single mistake.
Roman’s “bitch really?” face when Sheamus tries to keep him from even entering the ring.
That man is not having any of it. He has much bigger problems up his non-existent sleeves than Sheamus trying to be cheap and keep him from getting in the ring. What nerve!
Roman Reigns did something and I don’t know what to call it!
But he did it to Sheamus, what was it, a running…elbow drop? I don’t know what to call it except for beautiful. He splattered Sheamus all over the announce table. So painful, so great.
Bray Wyatt distracting Roman during his match
With a tea party! Talking to a rocking chair, pretending that Roman’s tiny human was there. This forced Roman to vacate the ring and run back there to save his little human.
That was absolutely horrible and clearly Bray needs a psych evaluation.
But it was awesome!
Bray Wyatt you’re disturbing.
So he lures Roman backstage, only for Roman to find a very disturbing shrine consisting of Roman’s face several dozen times with the eyes and mouth cut out of every picture.
This is so incredibly disturbing and awful, and this is the greatest thing ever.
What? I’ve never claimed to be normal.
John Cena speaking French, Chinese(??? alright, I don’t think Chinese is a language), and Indiana Americana.
Just another bit of Super Cena trying to further show that he is the WWE’s Superman by mirroring his ‘omnilingualism’ ability. Nice, man.
That Random ‘Tough Enough Series Premiere’ screen cap during backstage interviews.
Really, poor JoJo and Ryback lost five seconds of their faces gracing the screens all around the world because of a technical error. Well this just goes to show you, Tough Enough is more important than this title run.
Big Show says he’s a big man and Ryback’s a little boy.
Excuse me, that’s so creepy! That’s more disturbing than what Bray Wyatt is doing!
Rusev throwing a tantrum seeing Dolph and Lana kiss.
He tauntrum-ed so hard, he fell to the floor.
That’s so amazing.
Green screen of death during Authority’s promo.
Really? Someone’s gonna get fired…
Seth: I patterned my in-ring style after you guys!
Seth, as he apologizes to the hobbits.
This is just golden.
Seth: Dinosaurs are extinct and you’re alive and well! Kane you’re like a fine wine man you just, you get better with age.
Is he serious right now? Yes. Yes he’s so very, very serious. What a time to be alive.
Brock Lesnar destroyed everyone.
Seth Rollins visited suplex city along with Kane.The hobbits were taken out almost immediately. Overall, a bad time to be a part of the Authority.
That is until Seth and Kane team up and deliver a vicious beat down to Brock Lesnar. The invincible beast has been taken down several notches and it’s unsettling. All the while Paul Heyman is simply watching.
Let’s be realistic here. This is plan B. Plan B is Seth Rollins becoming a Paul Heyman guy. Paul wants someone new, someone fresh, and the future of the WWE is a wise choice.
Aside from that, I really hope come SmackDown I get to see more psychotic Bray Wyatt, it’s the best.