The video package to start off RAW was so beautiful. It started out emotional and so wonderfully sweet as Seth lovingly apologizes and gets the band back together.It’s something that can bring a tear to even the most heartless man’s eyes as he witnesses the reunion of a family before it’s torn apart by a massive sociopath with a haircut that looks like freshly cut grass.
But any who, on to the highlights!
Seth gifts the hobbits and Kane Apple watches…and becomes Oprah.
Wow. I mean. It’s uh….it’s precious, really! The three of them pose together like an awfully confusing Japanese commercial. You know what? Seth sure has changed, he’s such a sweet, giving man! Wow, I love when bosses take care of their employees.
Then he gets Kane a trip to Hawaii…wow.
I just. I’m so…Kane’s so happy, but Jamie looks like he’s bitter and wants to go to Hawaii instead considering his ribs are broken and Kane is perfectly fine.
But don’t worry, he gets the Hobbits a new car.
Wow. I mean. Seth Rollins has blown me away! Such a great guy.
Kevin Owens on commentary during Cesaro and John Cena’s match.
He’s kind of a sassy little dirtbag with his backhanded comments. It’s quite lovely, I connect so deeply with this sort of attitude.
Cesaro getting Cena high in the air for a devastating uppercut.
Good god almighty my chin hurts from watching that.
Cesaro executing the sharpshooter!
For Tyson Kidd! Good Guy Tyson over here.
Bray Wyatt is nuts!
He has major daddy issues and needs some serious help. However, I did call that he has some serious traumatic family history! Bray Wyatt is out of his creepy swamp mind, he has daddy issues for days.
Is that why he picked on Roman specifically? Still weird, and disturbing, by far.
Rusev is so pitiful.
Hobbling to the ring, hopping up the stairs, alongside the apron, and even still managing to hold the ropes for Summer. Oh dear, this man is a hot Bulgarian mess but it’s so damn funny.
Lana’s a scrappy devil!
She charged at Summer Rae not once, but twice! Lana’s buttons have been pushed and she’s a scrappy little force to be reckoned with.
Can this develop into a sociopath Lana that looks down at her opponents and says, “Look, I did not want to snap you in half with this steel chair, but you have forced my hand, this is all your fault.”
Because I’d so be here for that.
Dean Ambrose talks to robots…and Roman Reigns hates everyone..
…Except for Dean Ambrose! Their bromance is precious, isn’t it? They’re always there for each other, just those two against the world.
..The world being The Authority which according to these two, made a fatal mistake about making the match a no DQ. Well then, someone’s gonna die tonight.
Seth running for his life to get away from Roman.
Just to run into the ring so Kane can take care of the angry Samoan. Come on, it’s hysterical. Seth is the little troublemaker kid that does all these horrible things, runs when he gets caught and let’s someone else solve the problem. He’s the quintessential troll!
Now all we need to do is put him behind a computer in his mother’s basement with several pillow wives.
Bray Wyatt ambushing Roman Reigns.
Wow, that was brutal, and considering it’s a no DQ, there’s absolutely no repercussions for his interference!
But oh dear was that painful to watch. So glad I’m not Roman right now.
Seth: You can’t hang with me or my boys!
Really Seth? I wonder if the genius that comes out of his mouth is pre-planned or he’s just that quick on being a dork on the fly.
So the night ends with The Authority destroying Roman so Bray can pick at the scraps that are left over. All the while Dean is helpless on the side laying around like he’s about to be painted by Leonardo DiCaprio. Uh? That’s…that’s a confusing ending. Can someone please explain to me why that would happen? Why make Bray come out a second time and not just have him come out at the VERY end to pick it apart? I get that he ruined the match in the first place but..
Agh. Forget it. I’ll never understand this stuff half the time.