Brock Lesnar: Two Moves of Doom

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Ah, Moves of Doom. A wonderful phrase dictating a wrestler’s move-set which will undoubtedly put an end to your lovely day. The most common proprietor of moves of doom is one John Cena. The man in fact, has five moves of doom. I know, outstanding isn’t it? It almost feels unreal. Five whole moves?! That’s insane, that’s shocking that’s–

Not true. Yet, no one really cares about what the truth is. The John Cena Sucks ship has sailed from port to port and still picks up new passengers every day. No one cares if he has these new moves. It’s only said because the fans are sick and tired of John Cena main eventing everything and getting all the attention. Honestly, it’s completely understandable.

Next up on the doom list is Roman Reigns. What does he have, three moves of doom? Wow what a decrease. The man was said to have three moves of doom once fans began to realize he was getting a big push. Hilarious, really, especially if you consider the fact that only a year ago these people were dying for him to be in the spotlight for once. One can only say this: that people are bitter and don’t want talent shoved down their throats.

It’s time however, to address the real man who lives up to the moves of doom nickname, and that’s the beast incarnate Brock Lesnar.

Or BRAAAWWWWKKKKK LESNAR!!! But only if you’re Paul Heyman.

No one ever addresses the fact that all Brock does is german suplex his opponents into Suplex City housing units, or f5’s them to the their untimely doom. The man quite literally only has two moves at this point–and he’s so proud of it! No one questions it because they’re mesmerized by the Suplex City phenomena. In addition to that, it’s because Brock is rarely ever in attendance.

Now if Brock was on Monday Night RAW at least every other week, this would be a different story. Sooner or later people would get tired of him pulling off the same two moves over and over again. They’d absolutely throw a fit. Now, pair that with getting the belt and oh you can forget about anyone buying those Suplex City shirts for their own town.

Brock Lesnar’s an artifact of nostalgia. His two moves of doom are never addressed because people are more focused on the fact that they actually see him in a match, rather than what he’s doing in the ring. People get so caught up in what was, but once things begin to change? They riot.

Now Seth Rollins is the WWE World Heavyweight Champion–yet people want Brock to get the title back. Why? Because Seth is such a great evil villain and doing his job?Then what happens when this man does get his title back? He disappears for half a year and fans go back to rioting and throwing fits.

Then surely, they’ll point out the two moves of doom once he’s been away for quite some time. Once there’s been enough time to let this idea simmer.

Overall, the moves of doom thing just seems like one big joke. It’s only ever true once people “hate” the wrestler–and by that we mean that they don’t want him to be forced down their throats.

Unless it’s Brock Lesnar. He really is only sticking to two moves these days.

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