Survivor Series: Results and Charming Commentary (11/22/15)

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Good grief. What a year 2015 has been. We’re nearing the final stretch as we hit another PPV–Survivor Series. One that’s riddled with bad luck and disappointment. Seth Rollins is out on injury leading to him vacating the title and what would have been a great fight against Roman Reigns. Word is Cesaro’s now out on injury, and the 5v5 classic Survivor Series match is going to be full of a bunch of mystery people.

…Seriously…this…this is tragic.

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WWE: Blame Charlotte, Not Us!

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Do you remember Vince’s old attitude? How it was all about having brass balls? Basically, he ran these two shows that did whatever he wanted? There were matches against God (wow, I know), bra-and-panty matches…some in mud, that’s always fun! There were raids against neighboring territories, a crazy old man on commentary that had such an obsession with ‘puppies’ that he should have gone with David Duchovny for sex-rehabilitation.

Or you know, probably should have had charges filed against him.

Still, WWE has been known as always pushing and raising the bar, and were they ever apologetic?

Nah. They stuck to what they did.

You don’t want to see God in a match? Well, too bad, take your hurt feelings elsewhere because it’s about to get holy up in here. Didn’t like seeing a casket holding Big Show’s father in it? Eh, that’s minor! We here at WWE laugh at the dead.

Which is exactly what they did on Monday Night RAW for the November 16th episode. Technically they didn’t laugh per se, but they did make a segment out of the death of Reid Flair during Charlotte Flair’s main event contract signing with Paige.

Oh boy, where to even begin when it comes to this subject? It seems as though it should be touched with a 40 foot cattle prod. Whether or not it’s actually morally decent of them to use him and his name as such is an entirely different discussion to be had over coffee, perhaps with security nearby to keep the very divided fans at bay.

Let’s forget for a moment about how tasteless or genius this comment was received. The real focus right now is the accountability.

Who the hell gave it the A-O-kay, hmm?

Did the parents Elizabeth and Ric Flair give it the okay?

No, they did not. They were not asked, nor did they approve this part of the segment to happen on Monday Night RAW.

Well then, that only leaves for one person to have been accountable in giving this the okay. That would be Charlotte Flair, whom WWE even insists was the one who pushed this forward.

Hmmm….interesting.

Now on his own podcast, Ric Flair stated that he doesn’t believe Charlotte gave it the okay. Seeing as how she’s still fresh on the main stage, she isn’t exactly in a position to say no. She has no seniority, no veteran’s say in regards to what she will and will not do once she’s in front of the cameras. Now, once you’re given an opportunity no matter what, you kind of have to just roll with it, right? Or, sit on the bench in the ice-box where all other forgotten talents are, hidden away from the camera.

Now, regardless of the sour taste it left in the mouths of many, let’s get one thing clear here, WWE. Take some accountability and responsibility when it comes to your product! You’ve pushed something out and saw it had received negative backlash, so what do you do? Blame it on the sister of the dead in which you spoke ill off?

Now that is tasteless and a prime example of cowardice. What happened to those brass balls Vince used to tote around so much? I had no idea that a ‘PG’ rating actually stood for ‘No Integrity’. Take responsibility for the product you’ve put out. Rather than blame it on the talent, why not something like.

“We realize we’ve done something incredibly insensitive, and we sincerely apologize” rather than something like “Yeah well she said it’s okay so everybody can forget this now pretty please.”

This action just seems to add on to the issues plaguing WWE these days, no integrity to stand behind what’s been done. This is just as bad as having someone win RAW, only to have them lose on SmackDown just to keep both sides of the coin happy.

Stick with your guns, or your brass balls, man.

Why SmackDown is Infuriatingly Bad

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Let’s face it, SmackDown is a complete and utter joke and has been for quite some time. Granted, there are instances in which SmackDown doesn’t seem to be such an atrocity–but lately those are rare.

Now just why is SmackDown so infuriatingly bad?

For one, it’s an awful recap of RAW. As though RAW doesn’t offer enough recaps during the show as it is, SmackDown is comprised completely of reminders of events that took place on Monday night. Not just in the form of clips being replayed either–but actual matches. What’s so disheartening is that these matches are mostly in place to ensure that the loser from Monday night gets a win, that way no one goes home with sour feelings. It’s as though whoever is in charge of these matches is afraid of upsetting people. Huh, what an interesting concept.

Everyone wins! Give EVERYONE a belt for participation then, that’s basically the equivalent of what’s happening.

Or in the rare event that it’s not a match being repeated from Monday night–it’s just something that was thrown together. I imagine the process is like taking a bunch of arrows with the wrestler’s heads on them and just chucking them to a dart board and seeing which two land the closest together. Rather than actually develop something remotely compelling, they stick two people together randomly for a two minute match so they have enough time to show a twenty minute segment from RAW.

Though a personal favorite is always when the gang all packs up and goes overseas. It leaves SmackDown in shambles, as mostly anyone involved in a storyline is cast away to do live events. In the mean time, people who haven’t been on television for months or who have absolutely nothing happening at the moment put on a lovely two minute match as filler time before the video package of RAW is ready to play.

It’s just so unfortunate what SmackDown has become. A joke of the WWE: A recap show of  Monday night consisting mostly of commercials and disappointment.

Yay!

Why Does the Wyatt Family Have a Sheep Fetish?

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I know, trust me. I can’t believe I’m asking that question either.

But they do have a sheep fetish, don’t you see it? They started with one white little sheep–that of Erick Rowan. They’ve since grown, expanding the farm and obtaining a brutal young black sheep in Braun Strowman.

Now of all the creatures they could possibly have, why a sheep? Is a sheep intimidating at all? Why not replace this precious creature with that of a bear?

A bear is surely intimidating. A hulking mass ready to tear you apart with the swipe of a paw, accompanied by a paralyzing roar. They could have gone with lion masks, Bray would obviously be the head honcho of the group, but Harper, Rowan, and Strowman would technically be his pride! They too could tear their opponents apart and dominate the WWE as the monsters they so claim themselves to be.

Or they could have been different animals! Braun is unmovable, make him a rhino! Rowan’s supposedly a closeted genius, make him a dolphin! A majestic dolphin…they’re smart…right?!

Enough of the possible animals that they could have chosen but foolishly did not. The question is why would these monsters choose sheep instead of any other creature?

Quite obviously, Bray Wyatt is obsessed with destroying innocence.

The white sheep (or lamb, for a little baby sheep) is a symbol of innocence and purity. By having this mask that has clearly seen better days be bestowed upon a monster like Rowan, they’re ruining purity and innocence that cute sheep symbolize.

Personally I don’t find sheep to be that cute, but you know, to each their own.

In addition to that, they now have the black sheep. A symbol of being an outcast, a pariah–perfect example of the inhuman that is Braun.

Seriously, he can’t be human…right?

It’s almost like looking at an evolution. From the sweet, innocent white lamb all the way to the wretched black lamb. Bray loves the idea of taking these iconic symbols and utterly destroying what people once knew and loved.

Hell, just look at him and nursery rhymes. No one can hear He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands without having a nervous breakdown. When he sings there’s a fear of the entrance of a swamp creature in their dreams to terrorize them. When he manages to get the universe to sing this song, there’s terrifying flashbacks to childhood. Why terrifying? Because he’s probably now lurking in the background of all your favorite childhood memories ready to ruin your whole damn day.

In short, the Wyatt family is terrible. They crave nothing more than to destroy the innocence…and Bray Wyatt is a hybrid of Freddy Krueger and a swamp creature, with how he must destroy and terrorize everyone in existence.

What’s Next for WWE?

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Ah WWE, a haven for controversy driven by top men of the business that have the mentality of being back in 1990. Once again these men are faced with a challenge, and the question now is whether or not they’ll let this break their kneecaps with a sledgehammer, or will they overcome it.

With Seth Rollins now out on injury for possibly 6-9 months, WWE has lost their top evil doer and their World Heavyweight Champion. This is the cherry on top of: Randy Orton being out on injury, John Cena taking time off, and Brock Lesnar finishing his tiny little disagreement with the UnderTaker…who is now possibly inside the soul of Bray Wyatt.

Or whatever is in place of Bray Wyatt’s soul, at least.

Now what does this mean for WWE?

For one, it’s an opportunity. They’ve made the mistake of ignoring a great portion of the talent they have and have settled with long-winded self righteous promos that will make you fall asleep at some point, no matter how good the speaker is. Oh, and John Cena having his hands in everything and yada yada America. Right. We get it.

The program has revolved around a central point for 5 hours a week, and it’s boring.

But with all focal points gone they really have a chance to bring new people into the spotlight. For other members of the roster to put on draw-dropping matches and have feuds that can make history! Hell, there may be an actually half-decent and somewhat entertaining story to enjoy!

But…what will WWE do?

One can hope that they’ll take the route of newfound creativity, but what’s more likely to happen? That? Or a phone call to Brock Lesnar or John Cena–begging for them to return so that they have something to entertain people with even if they’ve seen it millions of times before.

After all, nothing screams WWE quite like relying on old talent and raising everyone up onto a pedestal except for new, readily available people who have yet to shine.

**OR talent who have had the light shine down upon them from the WWE Universe, but are ignored because they weren’t hand-plucked by the crotchety old man himself**