Royal Rumble 2016: Highlights


Ah the Royal Rumble. An event where even though it’s usually a one-versus-all type scenario, has been explicitly stated to be one-versus-all this time around. Why? Well simply put: because Roman Reigns will be defending his WWE World Heavyweight Championship against 29 other contenders. Some say nay, the thought of booing Roman out of yet another rumble making their special parts tingle with glee. Others cheer the thought of Roman showcasing having such a hard time in order to prove to others why he’s the one holding that belt, finding themselves in love with such an uphill battle. And for some? Well, some just want to watch the world burn. Or see who gets eliminated in under a second this time around.


Mark Henry, Jack Swagger vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Damien Sandow, Darren Young vs. The Ascension

Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Match

Winning team qualifies for the Royal Rumble, how sweet.

I know what you’re thinking. Golly gee this is an odd match up. There’s one actual tag team, another tag team that’s been made a mockery of, and two groups of mis-matched confusion. Yes, yes I concur with all of your thoughts. That my dear readers is what happens when you have nothing planned for any of them. So who will win? The seasoned tag team veterans? Henry and Swagger who….I mean…they’re big guys! Or will it be Young and Sandow? Perhaps it might be The Ascension, a team whom I completely forgot were in the match up, my apologies.

Winner: Mark Henry and Jack Swagger

Royal Rumble

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Last Man Standing Match for the Intercontinental Championship

Quite frankly this match is a little bit concerning. You have Kevin Owens, the petulant child who will stop at nothing to get his title back. He’s brutal, and doesn’t give a damn what he does to his opponent. Then there’s our champion Dean Ambrose. This man has an outstanding lack of self-preservation skills that certainly warrant a few special psychotherapy visits. Someone’s going to be left in shambles tonight, and how they’ll make it into the rumble at all is beyond me.

Winner: Dean Ambrose retains the title!

The Usos vs. The New Day

Tag Team Championship Match

You know, I’m not quite sure how New Day can carry on tonight. They’re suffering a great loss considering the brutal murder of Francesca by Chris Jericho. Perhaps they’ll debut her twin brother Francisco… but still! This is a very hard time for them and the Usos should be considerate of their loss! Well, the Usos who somehow got the Slammy award for Tag Team of the year are going to fight for those titles and perhaps actually be tag team champions. Will the Unicorn Squad take this one for Francesca? Or will the Usos take advantage of the pain of loss?

Just kidding, they’ve got Francesca 2!

Winner: The New Day retain their titles!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

For the United States Championship

This is absolute a David vs Goliath and his misfit friends story. Kalisto makes you want to root for him. He’s the total underdog here, the little engine that could! He wins the title and then what happens? On SmackDown he loses his title because Del Rio cheated, letting him take that title right back. Vengeance must be had! Yet can Kalisto overcome the bully?

Winner: Kalisto gets his title back! 

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Diva’s Championship Match

This is going to be a match to tug at the heartstrings. Charlotte and Becky were best friends! They came up to the main roster together! They were in the not-really-a-revolution Diva’s revolution! Yet now Charlotte has turned her back on Charlotte, becoming more and more like her treacherous father. Becky’s been hurt, backstabbed by those she called family. Now it’s her time to enact sweet, sweet revenge.

Winner: Charlotte retains the title!

SURPRISE: Sasha Banks, the Boss makes her way to the ring after Charlotte’s win. Once the rings are properly disposed off, down goes Becky and later, Charlotte too finds her demise.

30 Man Royal Rumble

For the WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Oh dear. Well, like I said before. The one-versus-all match is really one-versus-all. It was reinforced, so now it’s really important and driving the point home. So what twists and turns and surprise entrants lie ahead?

Here’s the fellows that matter!

1) Roman Reigns

I’m sure Roman is so thankful to be in the number one spot.


Pft, this will be easy.

3) Aj Styles

Introducing the phenomenal one….oh boy, this crowd will not have Roman winning after that. He’s so calm and collected he’s just walking down there. No stress at all.

6) Chris Jericho

Because he’s a damn legend. Damn it.

7) Kane

Because he’s also a legend, and I love him.

8) Goldust

He’s the bizarre one, how can I not?

12) R-Truth

Why is this special? Because he put a damn ladder in the middle of the ring and reached up for the championship. Who told him this was a ladder match?! 

Big E catches Kofi from being eliminated and has his unicorn brother sit on his shoulders to save him. Wow. Amazing, at least this gives him time to have a drink with the fans. Cola is so refreshing.

Vince McMahon has the League of Nations come out to pull Roman to the apron and brutalize him. Well that’s not nice, also fairly certain that’s cheating. Though it is sweet revenge for Rusev.

18) Kevin Owens

I feel like I need to give him credit for limping to the ring and going after Aj Styles right off the bat and eliminating him.

19) Dean Ambrose

At least he had an easier time walking to the ring.

20) Sami Zayn

Kevin Owens is NOT having a good night. Plus he gets eliminated by Sami? Oh dear.

22) Mark Henry

You earned it man who may retire soon. You earned it.

23) Brock Lesnar

…Eh. We all know the entire stadium wants him to win just so Roman doesn’t.

25) The Miz

Why is this notable? Because he went to hang out with the announcers in Mizney World. It’s a valid strategy, it keeps him alive longer!

26) Bray Wyatt

Bray very wisely had his minions stay around the ring, so that when he entered they could hold Brock for him. Such a good strategy! Especially since it actually worked to eliminate Brock. Huh, I’m shocked.

Reigns rejoins the rumble in the middle of Sheamus’ entrance.

30) Triple H

This pleases me greatly. Time for some sweet revenge. Me thinks Triple H did not like getting beaten senseless in front of his wife. These two are livid, having a showdown with one another where each is attacked and yet they dispose of them quickly with their finishers. 

Triple H eliminates Roman Reigns, leaving him alone with Dean Ambrose

Winner: Triple H wins the Royal Rumble and is the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion

Well, I’m sure Vince is pleased his son-in-law is the new winner! Stephanie sure is over the moon elated. Alas, I don’t think Roman is pleased. Plus Dean was so close to winning….RAW is going to be interesting for sure.


Panda Watches: The Marine 3: Homefront


Today we continue our backwards and absolutely senseless way of watching the Marine movies!  This time we’re (and by we I clearly mean my own charming self) covering The Marine 3: Homefront which also stars WWE’s own Mike ‘The Miz’ Mizanin as the latest protagonist of the series, Jake Carter.

Now one has to feel bad for Jake Carter in this movie. The guy comes home to find out his little sister’s an irresponsible little punk running around with another punk from this close-knit small town. You’ve probably heard of that type of place, everybody knows everybody’s business and there really isn’t a secret–or leaving the place. She’s not in school, she’s not working, his other sister is dating his best friend behind his back, and he’s the weirdo for brutally beating a guy that assaulted him in a bar. To top it all off, his lovely irresponsible little sister Lily  gets kidnapped by a couple of local terrorists. That’s really no way a man should be welcomed home for his two week vacation.

Some things that I love include the actor Neal McDonough who plays our main antagonist Jonah Pope. Now when I first saw him I lost my damn mind, internally screaming ‘Holy shit that’s Damien Darhk’ (from Arrow). It was refreshing to know that I can always count on this man to play the most convincing and unnerving psychopath when presented with the opportunity. He’s so convinced that his backwards, more murderous Robin Hood tactics are a good idea that he’s actually willing to die for them. A man with such conviction almost makes him comparable to a hero, doesn’t it?

Fine, it doesn’t make him a hero in the slightest but one really should admire his commitment.

Another thing I loved was Lily’s ability to throw out a one liner even under extreme duress. For example, upon being rescued by an incredibly helpful person she makes a comment stating she could have done what he did. Hell, she probably could have done it with even more finesse, but we’ll never know. It gives a nice little breather and opportunity to smile in an otherwise fairly stressful and bloody movie.

Speaking of blood, wow. By the end of this movie Jake is caked in so much blood, sweat, and perhaps tears, that you can hardly recognize the man underneath it. All I’ve got to say is that Lily is quite lucky her big brother a) apparently loves her enough to go through hell and back for her; and b) happened to be on vacation that week. Otherwise this could have had a very bad ending for all, filled with explosions, blood, and lots of dead bodies for unhappy families.

Overall, this movie covers the basics of any action movie you’d expect. The hero saves the girl. There’s bits of romance thrown in somewhere, enough to add to the story without overtaking it. And no, it’s not with the hero and the girl, that’s called incest. There’s lots of blood, an epic cool guy explosion moment, and plenty of bullets to go around.

Stay tuned for some point in time when I eventually bring myself to watch The Marine 2.

The IWC: Too Much Power…


The IWC (Internet Wrestling Community) is quite good at starting movements. From the rise of Daniel Bryan to the Diva’s Revolution. However, do these movements actually work? Does the IWC have too much power? Shall their power be used for good, or for pure unadulterated evil?

Originally posted on Smark N Mark. To read the full article, please click here.

The Wrestling Fangirl


Fandoms were once considered a safe haven. A place for people sharing mutual interests to congregate and share their works of art and literature. Or to perhaps discuss the product in depth. However in some fandoms, such as the wrestling one, a terrifying phenomena has occurred. One where there are some overly ecstatic fans that are quite terrifying and possibly a nightmare shaming you for your favorites or desires within the show.

Originally posted to Smark N Mark. To read the full article, please click here.



Surely over time Triple H has become a bit more similar to his father-in-law, Vince McMahon. However no one expected them to have similar taste in bed. Surely no one expected them to love Roman Reigns as much as they do. Finally, no one expected them to have such awful ways of wooing him.

Originally posted to Smark N Mark. To read the full article, please click here.

Sheamus’ Identity Issues


Sheamus has undergone a complete overhaul of who he is. However, I’m afraid this is a result of a man having no sense of identity that’s his own. In an attempt to create his own person, he seems to be adapting traits of everyone he admires or loves.

Originally posted on Smark N Mark. To read the article please click here.