The Good Bits: Bates Motel(s4ep3)

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Death Check: Emma’s mother is still pretty dead.

RIP Norman’s belt, you served your purpose.

Normero wedding.

That’s the ship name, right? Normero, as the kids say?

Either way, the Normero wedding went off without a hitch. Norma looked beyond bothered to be there, which is hilarious considering getting married was originally her idea.

Secondly, she wore black to her wedding.

All. Black. 

At that point it’s not even a wedding anymore that’s a straight up funeral. I’m assuming she was mourning her ability to sleep with everyone she wanted without being branded with a scarlet letter.

However, Romero gave her a huge ring. He was all dolled up, didn’t wear all black, he was clearly into this fake marriage far more than Norma was. Honestly, he stole the show. Someone gives this man an Emmy.

Norma fearful of ruining her third (even though it’s fake) marriage.

Aw, poor Norma. Even though they didn’t marry for love she’s afraid of destroying the marriage. Poor thing. Well, I’d be afraid of that too considering her past and the fact that one of her children is a psychopath.

Besides, maybe Romero will ruin it. After all, he’s the one with bank teller “friend” he occasionally sleeps with that seems scorned by his marriage.

Norma and Romero are both screw ups, how perfect for each other.

Norman has a new friend!

Julian seems like a wonderful influence, but he needs to be careful with that pot pie in front of Norman. Be sensitive to Norman’s feelings, my goodness!

The pit is filled!

But alas, one single earring remains. A forever haunting reminder of the murder that took place at the hands of Norman Bates.

Or as he likes to believe, at the hands of his mother.

Dylan wants to leave the weed business.

That’s nice. Doubt the money is as great but you know, whatever. Emma’s already got her new lung so I guess money doesn’t matter anymore.

Chick Hogan is back.

With a vengeance! For Caleb, of course. Yet he can’t find him, and Dylan claims he has no idea where the man went. Well, I can’t imagine that will sit well with Chick. Hmmm, it’s not like Dylan has family nearby or a girlfriend in the hospital or anything…

Norman’s at it again!

Not with the murder thing, almost but not quite. That orderly restrained him pretty well. I’m genuinely impressed his head didn’t end up shattered against the wall.

Anyway, Norman’s back at making Norma look like the monster. First he berates her when she visits him, and now he tells his doctor that she’s insane and killing people. Yeah, that’s great! Child of the year!

Geez, someone should have put him up for adoption. Kid is more trouble than he’s worth!

Normero did a thing together.

Not only did they have dinner, but the episode ends with the two sampling each other’s saliva to build immunity.

So….Romero’s going to die, isn’t he? The powers that be won’t allow this semi-happy marriage to bloom.

Another successful episode in which Norman shows how perfectly manipulative and psychotic he is. Hopefully next week we get a nice little murder or two!

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The Good Bits: Bates Motel(s4ep2)

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Spoilers ahead, as per usual!

We’re only in the beginning of the season and the fecal matter has hit the fan at a high speed.

I love it.

Death Check: Yep, Emma’s mom is still dead. She dead real good.

Norman Bates is a flight risk.

Really, he is. For a kid that ran away all the time, this man has a hard time coming to terms with the fact that his mother locked him in the room. For the sole purpose of keeping him in one place! Apparently he’s forgotten that he has a history of fleeing! Honestly Norman, I expected better of you.

If I can’t expect a sociopath to be understanding, then who can I turn to!?

For someone who keeps blacking out, he’s awfully suspicious of his mother.

He’s the one that’s blacking out and having visions. As though suddenly stopping and staring at your reflection in the mirror is a normal thing. It is, if you’re in That’s So Raven, but considering the genre of this program, the network, and hell the title alone? Yeah…not so normal at all.

Although the idea of normal is rather subjective, and we all have these differing ideas because of how we were socialized growing up. For all I know you may think it’s completely normal to envision your mother murdering and disposing of bodies. Whatever floats your normal boat!

Romero has a secret money stash.

He took great  care of his stash too. Under the floorboards, a tried and true classic, but it was wrapped in plastic. No bug will be eating his hard earned and or swiped cash, that’s for sure!

Though more importantly, Romero clearly has a heart of gold. He goes behind Norma’s back to secure her son a spot in the institution AND says he’s going to marry her. Honestly, what a sweetheart!

Norman flips the tables on Norma.

It’s  so disconcerting how easily he does this. He changes it around so that Norma’s the one held hostage in the home while he leaves freely to do what he must. He’s completely transformed from the naive boy from season one, and I feel a little bad for this pitiful young man.

…Then again he’s on a killer murder spree right now so….maybe not too bad.

Dylan gets the dad speech.

Ah, classic dad speech. Want the best for your daughter and you don’t want her to be held back by the pot-selling kid with the screwed up brother. What’s so touching about this is that Emma’s father tells Dylan he’s too good to be selling pot, he doesn’t deserve a life like that. Clearly Dylan has needed to hear that, as I doubt Norma spends any time praising him.

Perhaps this will lead to him and Emma leaving town. Running away together to start their lives anew and get away from Norman before he turns around and spills their insides on the motel floor.

Stay tuned where next Monday Norma learns that when you marry someone you have to live together!

The Good Bits: Bates Motel(s4 ep1)

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Ah, another season, another bunch of dead people and mother issues. Gosh, I love the smell of death in the morning. It’s ripe, very potent, and really does of a fine job of keeping you awake. On that high note, to keep you awake at night questioning your own relationship with your mother we have a new season of Bates Motel.

Warning: Spoilers and B++ humor, proceed with caution.

Beautiful opening scene…

It’s Romero out on a boat, which is a dream many have and cannot afford. Imagine being all alone on a boat? The privacy, the scenery, it’s beautiful. Except for the fact that he’s disposing of a particular dead body, which isn’t that beautiful.

Unless you’re into that sort of thing.

The takeaway here is that this scene looks like a crossover between Jaws and Titanic. Oh, and that even surrounded by water, Romero still can’t take a second to clean the blood off of his hands. His hygienic practices are disgusting.

Norma’s so damn rude.

Honestly, her manners are atrocious. Poor Dylan is on the phone trying to have a conversation with the disgusting county hospital that found Norman, and she won’t shut up! Talking and asking questions while Dylan is doing exactly that is incredibly rude. Geez Norma, have some respect for your son!

That County Hospital sends chills down my spine.

Not because of its poor light quality either. The courteous staff at the hospital is giving me traumatic flashbacks of the administration staff at my university. Plus, I hear the hospital is underfunded and overcrowded.

Hello, story of every CUNY school ever!

Norma and Romero, not sitting in a tree doing anything wildly inappropriate you perverts.

Although, she does think he’s her own personal vigilante. However when he proves to be useless in both marrying her for insurance money and getting Norman checked out of the hospital early, she turns to her assets evolution gave her.

Breast one, breast two, and a sultry begging voice.

Unfortunately none of those things work when the doctor you’re hitting on is gay. Have no fear, all you need to do to get what you want is blast them with a retelling of part of your life story and pair that with some waterworks.

Life tips from Norma Bates, great!

Emma’s Mom has got it going on.

No she doesn’t. No one likes her. No one wants her there. It’s pitiful really. I can’t imagine why no one would want the mother that abandoned her sick daughter to be around when she’s getting a lung transplant. Man, this is heavy.

Or at least, she had it going on.

Yeah she’s dead. She’s got nothing going for her but strangulation marks on her neck and a deadly scarf. Ah, it’s really unfortunate when your daughter’s best friend kills you.

How much of a strain do you think that puts on their friendship?

To top it all off: Norman Bates hates to be trapped in a room, but loves a good pastel blue robe.

Oh, and he’s the little spoon.