The Good Bits: Bates Motel(s4 ep1)


Ah, another season, another bunch of dead people and mother issues. Gosh, I love the smell of death in the morning. It’s ripe, very potent, and really does of a fine job of keeping you awake. On that high note, to keep you awake at night questioning your own relationship with your mother we have a new season of Bates Motel.

Warning: Spoilers and B++ humor, proceed with caution.

Beautiful opening scene…

It’s Romero out on a boat, which is a dream many have and cannot afford. Imagine being all alone on a boat? The privacy, the scenery, it’s beautiful. Except for the fact that he’s disposing of a particular dead body, which isn’t that beautiful.

Unless you’re into that sort of thing.

The takeaway here is that this scene looks like a crossover between Jaws and Titanic. Oh, and that even surrounded by water, Romero still can’t take a second to clean the blood off of his hands. His hygienic practices are disgusting.

Norma’s so damn rude.

Honestly, her manners are atrocious. Poor Dylan is on the phone trying to have a conversation with the disgusting county hospital that found Norman, and she won’t shut up! Talking and asking questions while Dylan is doing exactly that is incredibly rude. Geez Norma, have some respect for your son!

That County Hospital sends chills down my spine.

Not because of its poor light quality either. The courteous staff at the hospital is giving me traumatic flashbacks of the administration staff at my university. Plus, I hear the hospital is underfunded and overcrowded.

Hello, story of every CUNY school ever!

Norma and Romero, not sitting in a tree doing anything wildly inappropriate you perverts.

Although, she does think he’s her own personal vigilante. However when he proves to be useless in both marrying her for insurance money and getting Norman checked out of the hospital early, she turns to her assets evolution gave her.

Breast one, breast two, and a sultry begging voice.

Unfortunately none of those things work when the doctor you’re hitting on is gay. Have no fear, all you need to do to get what you want is blast them with a retelling of part of your life story and pair that with some waterworks.

Life tips from Norma Bates, great!

Emma’s Mom has got it going on.

No she doesn’t. No one likes her. No one wants her there. It’s pitiful really. I can’t imagine why no one would want the mother that abandoned her sick daughter to be around when she’s getting a lung transplant. Man, this is heavy.

Or at least, she had it going on.

Yeah she’s dead. She’s got nothing going for her but strangulation marks on her neck and a deadly scarf. Ah, it’s really unfortunate when your daughter’s best friend kills you.

How much of a strain do you think that puts on their friendship?

To top it all off: Norman Bates hates to be trapped in a room, but loves a good pastel blue robe.

Oh, and he’s the little spoon.


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