SmackDown: Highlights (9/20/16)

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Following up a pretty okay Monday Night RAW, it’s SmackDown’s turn to shine and impress the world. Luckily for them, they don’t have to prepare for a pay per view this Sunday–which could mean they might take it easy and put less effort in being entertaining.

Becky Lynch Destroys

I’m not talking about the destruction by physical means here. Her explaining how she wasn’t born a champion but fought her way to the top was gold and wonderfully inspirational. Top that off with a charming threat of ripping Alexa’s head off and you basically have a recipe for complete success; and possibly a homicide charge.

Bonus: Daniel Bryan sounded like an exhausted teacher with rowdy students the entire time.

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Rhyno & Heath Slater

I never realized that this tag team would amuse me so much, and I’m delighted by the surprise! Heath came up with the most amazing chant in favor of his man beast Rhyno–and we saw Rhyno’s love of cheese and crackers once again take center stage. It was such an incredible moment to be a part of.

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The Fight for the #ICTitle

If you didn’t watch the match I suggest going back to check it out. It’s got everything you could want, pin falls, lying, cheating, unfortunately no thefts (unless you want to get symbolic with it). Plus we get Maryse: the best valet in the business right now. Oh, and if you’re into this: mopey Dolph needing to prove himself. Not my cup of tea, but some really adore the underdog look on him.

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Those were my entertaining highlights for SmackDown. Next week we’ve got a one on one title match between AJ Styles and Dean Ambrose. Hmmm, a title change before No Mercy? Possibly!

The Raw Bits: Highlights (9/19/16)

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Monday Night Raw, after a scandalous finish last week which included good ol’ Uncle Mick having absolutely none of his spoiled nephew Seth Rollins’ shit. What on earth can happen next?!

The Battle Takes to the Announce Table!

Ah, Seth Rollins versus was a pretty good match! It got even better when the fight ended in a double count out and the brawl hit the top of the ramp. Then who could forget, Seth Rollins taking to the announce table as a makeshift jumping pad? It was a great moment for Seth. I’m sure Rusev will be just fine after he eventually wakes up. He can take a nice hot bath and watch Lana’s new movie she co-starred in with Edge, a handsome Canadian man, who is not Rusev. Eh, it’s fine, not like he has jealousy issues!

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Mother vs. Son

It was vicious, it was brutal, their threats went straight for the jugular. Seth turned his back on his mother Stephanie, having the nerve to threaten her in her own office. unfortunately for him his mother was having none of it. Stephanie’s retort which claimed that his father (Triple H, obviously) left him and abandoned him for a better son, looked like it destroyed Seth.

The family is officially broken, and Seth has transitioned from angsty teenager, to bitter young adult seeking revenge. In the words of Stephanie:

“Do I think Kevin Owens has REPLACED Seth Rollins as the man? Yes. I. Do.”

Fucking. Brutal.

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IT versus Uncle Mick

Jericho is honestly best friend goals. He jumps to Kevin Owens’ defense to save him from the evil clutches and vindictive behavior that they associated with the great Mick Foley. It’s so incredibly admirable. Yet in his defense, this turned into a battle of cheap pops and fashion do’s and don’ts.

In short, Jericho is very trendy in Luxembourg and Mick steals catch phrases! csws9ruvmae6k2j

Seth Freaking Ninja Rollins

Boy…you’ve got 9 lives, and you just used one to save Roman Reigns. Go sit in the corner and think about what you did for everyone who still misses The Shield.

 

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Overall: Raw was pretty good. Didn’t feel too special going into Clash of Champions this Sunday, but we’ll see what happens at the PPV!

SmackDown: Highlights (9/13/16)

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Below are a few moments I found to be incredibly entertaining of from SmackDown from September 13, 2016.

When Shit Got Too Real

Things got too real between AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, and John Cena in the opening segment of SmackDown. John Cena called out Dean, referencing the Stone Cold Podcast and going for the typical “you have no balls” insult. Dean called Cena the part timer who can’t keep up anymore but looks great on a cereal box. AJ of course relished in the fighting and managed to celebrate before it all went down.

The MVP of this segment was definitely Dean and John going toe to toe with the mic, and I never realized how desperately I needed that feud until this moment.

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AJ’s Hunt For a Partner

Not a life partner, no, but for a tag partner!  It’s incredibly entertaining and also very pitiful on his behalf. Poor guy, no one wants to work with him. it must be hard being the champ that runs the camp.

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Curt Hawkins…um…

Honestly, this was bit was sponsored by PornHub, wasn’t it? Or is he just trying to check on his own set up and make sure everything’s okay? Oh, or maybe fire farts?!

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The Miz Beats Up James Ellsworth

The Miz did the right thing! He made sure to secure himself a main event spot AND torment Daniel Bryan by utterly destroying the internet darling James Ellsworth. The poor guy never stood a chance against the A-Lister, but gosh he looked so happy to be there before Miz ruined him.

The Miz was killing it….and James!

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The show ends with Dean Ambrose nailing John Cena with dirty deeds, and now I can’t wait to see what goes down next week on SmackDown live.

 

The Raw Bits: 9/12/16

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Here are all the bits I liked or I downright despised about Monday Night RAW from September 12, 2016.

Opening Segment

The opening segment featuring: Mick Foley, Sasha Banks,Charlotte, Dana Brooke, and Bayley was fantastic. Charlotte has stepped up her gave as a heel by about several notches and she is thoroughly entertaining. In addition to that: Bayley’s bashfully adorable, Dana’s a ticking time bomb of hate against Charlotte, and Sasha has enough attitude to last her several lifetimes.

My favorite bit would have to be Sasha’s jacket being hurled into Charlotte’s face. Look, she clearly didn’t throw it. All she wanted was for Charlotte to hang it up for her, but instead, for some odd reason Charlotte felt the need to use her own face to do so.

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Sami Zayn & Chris Jericho

I loved this entire segment, mostly because it’s Chris Jericho hyping up his relationship with Kevin Owens and shoving it down Sami Zayn’s throat. It’s like watching the new girlfriend wave her brand new passionate relationship in front of the ex and it’s a beautiful argument that ends in Sami calling Jericho nothing more than Kevin Owens’ bitch.

Clearly Sami is jealous that Kevin never supported him the way Chris supports Kevin, he just wants a loving relationship like JeriKO has!

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Nia Jax Decimates Alicia Fox

My god, she speared her right through the barricade. That’s all you need, she destroyed her, and it was incredible.

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Kevin Owens Putting Seth Rollins In Place

Listen, we all know that Kevin is the new golden boy for Triple H. Seth’s taking Randy’s place as the ginger step child tossed to the side and forgotten and he doesn’t like it. Ya know what I like? Kevin making everything seem so much worse by pointing out to Seth that Triple H no longer supports him. Ah, nothing like getting abandoned by your father.

I’m here for banter between Seth and Kevin, nothing like watching two grown men argue like children and make fun of Seth’s cackling while they’re at it.

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Overall, I’m pretty happy with RAW. Was it a five star event and every waking moment was incredible? Nope, of course not, and I don’t think there’s ever going to be an episode of any show where it’s perfect from start to finish. Start was great, middle was good, finish was awesome! I was more entertained than I was bored throughout the program and that sounds like a win to me.

WWE SmackDown: Backlash 2016

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Backlash: SmackDown Brand (9/11/16)

Today we watch the very first SmackDown exclusive pay-per-view, Backlash. Tonight is the first chance for a brand exclusive PPV to shine. Will SmackDown impress viewers, fans and skeptics alike? Or will it lose in the battle of going toe to toe with the Raw brand?

Kickoff

Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin

Everyone wants to be the new face that runs the place! According to Baron, Apollo’s get a spelling bee to focus on and shouldn’t even bother being on SmackDown because he’s a nobody. Apollo isn’t sweating it at all, he knows he can spell and can shine.

Winner: Apollo Crews gets got, Baron Corbin wins!

Backlash

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Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

Six pack elimination match for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship

It’s time to choose the first ever SmackDown brand Women’s champion. There’s plenty of worthy contenders here, all vying for the opportunity to be the female face that runs the place.

Winner: Becky Lynch is the first SmackDown Women’s Champion

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The Usos vs. The Hype Bros

Winners face Heath Slater and Rhyno for the Tag Team Championships.

The Usos get a chance to fight for the tag titles due to American Alpha being out of commission, how unfortunate for them! Now it’s time for The Usos to make the most out of the second opportunity….but, the Hype Bros might be too much to handle.

Winners: Hype Bros get got, The Usos win!

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The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

For the InterContinental Championship

The Miz has a chance to prove himself against Dolph Ziggler, a man who constantly feels the need to prove himself and like he’s never done enough. Really, Dolph’s stuck in his own head with what everyone says about him, whereas Miz seems to be fully confident and aware of his abilities.

Winner: The Miz retains, and Dolph Ziggler gets got

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Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Unfortunately for the WWE Universe, Randy Orton was deemed unable to compete due to injury because Bray Wyatt had jumped him. in reality, the utterly careless Brock Lesnar is the reason for Randy not being cleared to compete. I say we put Brock on an island by himself away from humanity.

Winner: Bray Wyatt, via disqualification.

Don’t worry, we have a great substitute.

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Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

No disqualification

Well, it’s different than assuming a member of the Wyatt family would emerge from the swamp and destroy him. However, I’ll gladly take this nice little surprise!

Example Surprise: Randy Orton entering the ring to hit Bray with an RKO.

Winner: Bray Wyatt gets got with a quick trip to ViperVille. Kane wins!

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The Usos vs. Rhyno , Heath Slater

SmackDown Tag Team Championships

The Usos have taken full advantage of their second chance, and only have Rhyno and Heath Slater in their way. However, Heath desperately needs that above ground pool for his family. With all fifty of his kids watching, hopefully he can pull out the win.

Winners: The Usos get got. Rhyno and Heath Slater are the inaugural SmackDown Tag Team Champions. Now Heath can get that damn pool.

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Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

For the WWE World Championship

This has been quite the heartbreaking feud if either of them plan on having any, or more children. Testicles have been crushed, we’ve learned that AJ doesn’t believe in participation trophies and likes to take tokens from his victims as a reminder of his victories. Serial killer-ish? Yes, which is surprising considering he’s not the man often referred to as the lunatic fringe. Now it’s time for Dean to prove himself against the face that runs the place.

Winner: Dean Ambrose gets got with a low blow, AJ Styles is the new champion!

Something tells me Dean might lose his damn mind on Tuesday, live on SmackDown!