AJ Styles: Mom Hair, Don’t Care


The Champ is here: AJ Styles, and with him he brings a mane that can’t be tamed. The man known for beating both John Cena and Dean Ambrose has a killer asset that’s frequently discussed. Actually there’s a couple of body parts to him that are usually discussed but this isn’t Skinemax so we’re sticking with the PG asset: the hair.


That hair is beautiful. Dark, luscious locks that remind you of a free flowing chocolate waterfall every time you watch him threaten to beat up John Cena. Yet no one really discusses the sheer beauty of his hair. There’s never a positive comment about how good it looks. All anyone can ever say is that he’s got soccer mom hair; the nerve of these scoundrels! They make it seems as though this whole soccer mom business would be a bad thing, but you know what? It’s incredible.

Who has soccer mom hair? Champions, that’s who.


Who whips their hair back and forth? This guy, who does it so much better than Willow Smith could have ever hoped to do so.


Ya know who doesn’t whip their hair back and forth? Losers, and who are the losers of SmackDown now? Dean Ambrose and John Cena. Ambrose’s hair looks like it was caught in a twister and fell onto his scalp once the storm settled. As for Cena, when has he ever had good hair, hmm?


This mockery about AJ Styles’ hair is absolutely tragic. A champ with such an elite standing does not deserve this abuse, especially given the hair status of the previously mentioned chuckleheads. The world of professional wrestling is simply envious of his hair. He’s got a fierce mane all his own, no weave, plugs, extensions, or wigs necessary. That’s pure genetics doing its finest work, something just a few people in WWE might be jealous of.


Look at this latest look in the Styles’ hair world. I like to call this look: Straight Outta Asgard.


My final piece: Sporty Spice.


The champ is here with his mom hair, and he simply doesn’t care what anyone else has to say about it. This hair is for winners, so that means he’ll have that mane for quite some time. If you want to be a winner and have fabulous hair such as AJ’s then fret not! Rumor has it he’s going to launch his own hair care line in Spring 2017, but you can only purchase it if you are a current title holding champion.




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