I can’t believe we’re at a time where SmackDown Live opens with James Ellsworth getting his very own shirt: with his face smack dab in the center. What a time to be alive, and surely the millions and millions of his fans must be clamoring to get one to support him. What a time to be alive.
Bray to Randy: “I like coming after you”.
Uh, what? Alright, well. At least we know that Bray sticks by the golden rule of “she finishes first”, as explained to us by Xavier Woods of The New Day. A little much for me to know, and I mean, this is a PG program, but hey! To each their own, Bray’s apparently a very open person. Good for him.
Can we talk about the fact that Kane is Randy’s tag team partner? This is how that conversation should have gone:
Randy: I know I kidnapped your father and left him in a freezer to die, but will you be my tag team partner?
Kane: Go fuck yourself, Orton.
Natalya loves Whitney Houston.
Alright, but shoutout to her for figuring out how to work Whitney Houston’s lyrics into her plea with Daniel Bryan, that’s just pure dedication.
After this episode of SmackDown, I don’t think there’s anyone on the roster that’s more over than James Ellsworth.