Panda Watches: The Marine 3: Homefront


Today we continue our backwards and absolutely senseless way of watching the Marine movies!  This time we’re (and by we I clearly mean my own charming self) covering The Marine 3: Homefront which also stars WWE’s own Mike ‘The Miz’ Mizanin as the latest protagonist of the series, Jake Carter.

Now one has to feel bad for Jake Carter in this movie. The guy comes home to find out his little sister’s an irresponsible little punk running around with another punk from this close-knit small town. You’ve probably heard of that type of place, everybody knows everybody’s business and there really isn’t a secret–or leaving the place. She’s not in school, she’s not working, his other sister is dating his best friend behind his back, and he’s the weirdo for brutally beating a guy that assaulted him in a bar. To top it all off, his lovely irresponsible little sister Lily  gets kidnapped by a couple of local terrorists. That’s really no way a man should be welcomed home for his two week vacation.

Some things that I love include the actor Neal McDonough who plays our main antagonist Jonah Pope. Now when I first saw him I lost my damn mind, internally screaming ‘Holy shit that’s Damien Darhk’ (from Arrow). It was refreshing to know that I can always count on this man to play the most convincing and unnerving psychopath when presented with the opportunity. He’s so convinced that his backwards, more murderous Robin Hood tactics are a good idea that he’s actually willing to die for them. A man with such conviction almost makes him comparable to a hero, doesn’t it?

Fine, it doesn’t make him a hero in the slightest but one really should admire his commitment.

Another thing I loved was Lily’s ability to throw out a one liner even under extreme duress. For example, upon being rescued by an incredibly helpful person she makes a comment stating she could have done what he did. Hell, she probably could have done it with even more finesse, but we’ll never know. It gives a nice little breather and opportunity to smile in an otherwise fairly stressful and bloody movie.

Speaking of blood, wow. By the end of this movie Jake is caked in so much blood, sweat, and perhaps tears, that you can hardly recognize the man underneath it. All I’ve got to say is that Lily is quite lucky her big brother a) apparently loves her enough to go through hell and back for her; and b) happened to be on vacation that week. Otherwise this could have had a very bad ending for all, filled with explosions, blood, and lots of dead bodies for unhappy families.

Overall, this movie covers the basics of any action movie you’d expect. The hero saves the girl. There’s bits of romance thrown in somewhere, enough to add to the story without overtaking it. And no, it’s not with the hero and the girl, that’s called incest. There’s lots of blood, an epic cool guy explosion moment, and plenty of bullets to go around.

Stay tuned for some point in time when I eventually bring myself to watch The Marine 2.


A Walk Among The Tombstones


It’s so easy to make jokes about Liam Neeson and Taken because….well, his family members just can’t seem to stop disappearing. Really, at this point one should just stop leaving the country and stay home. Perhaps take a walk around the block, going after hostile kidnappers is just not a healthy hobby for anybody.

Now I am fully aware there is a Taken 3 in the works, believe me, I just never realized where exactly in production it was. I was caught by complete surprise when watching TV (let’s face it, it was background nose while doing some online shopping) to hear ‘Someone’s kidnapped my wife’.

Immediately my mind went to the plot of another Taken film.

This is exactly where I caught the trailer.

The entire time I thought, “Someone needs to put trackers on this man’s family, keep them home, something. Someone should not be losing relatives this often especially if they’re not even children. It’s completely understandable to lose children but full grown adults? You’re doing something wrong sir.” Yes, I’m well aware it’s not okay to lose children but these humans are just so small you’re bound to lose sight of them for five or so minutes.

It turns out this was not a new Taken film but in fact A Walk Among The Tombstones trailer, a film set to be released September 19, 2014. The film is based on the 1992 novel written by Lawrence Block following a private investigator by the name of Matthew Scudder.

Personally I haven’t read the book so I do not know what to expect from the movie, but it seems Liam Neeson is rather talented in selecting films that involve kidnappings but hey, to each their own!