Seeing Monday Night Raw: LIVE! (3/20/17)

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Yes that’s right, I in fact saw Monday Night Raw, live, at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York on March 20, 2017.

So let’s get down to it: what was it like?

First of all: it’s kind of amazing. When you finally get through security and spend twenty to thirty minutes looking for your seat because every single usher tells you to go to the next staircase: you finally land in your section. I myself had floor seats, section f5. Just about ten or eleven rows back from the barricade, a little before the WrestleMania sign.

The seats were okay. To be frank it was hard to see any of the action over anyone’s heads. To top it all off, the screen showing the fight was blocked by the lights and was basically far too vertical to watch comfortably. In addition to that people decided they were going to stand on their stupid chairs to get the perfect picture. Yes, thank you assholes who needed to do that; because everyone behind you is clearly seven feet tall and can see over you.

And you can’t teach that. Sorry. Moving on!

It felt like a mediocre episode of RAW. I anticipated crazy twists and turns because it’s two weeks to WrestleMania but I didn’t get any of that. I was also hoping I’d see Seth Rollins (even though people swore he was in the crowd at one point before retreating). However, I got to see my queen Stephanie McMahon live; as well as Triple H, Mick Foley, The Undertaker, and Chris Jericho. The Undertaker’s great, but there’s just something about seeing Chris Jericho live that really feels magical and makes me think “holy shit, am I really here”?

By the way, I mostly went because I really, really wanted to see Cesaro (he’s my favorite wrestler if you somehow haven’t gotten that) and his match ended far too quick for my liking. So…very disappointed.

Let’s talk about the chants.

Yes, there was a scandal recently, and of course Brooklyn had to start their charm. Before the show even began they shouted “We want Paige!” to the tune of “New Day Rocks”. Every single time she or Xavier Woods was on the screen they screamed. They also requested the presence of Brad Maddox, and typically CM Punk. Which still, to this day, is extremely pathetic and makes no sense.

CM Punk is not coming back, and if he is it’s going to be a Bret Hart situation twenty or so years from now where it’s just for a paycheck. Then he’ll probably critique a really great young talent horribly.

Then the sections began to fight. Above me the sides were chanting “That side sucks” at each other. My section retorted with “We got floor seats!”, which prompted them to say “floor seats suck!” in return.

It was super juvenile. During a match no less. Great, but yeah, go women’s wrestling right?

Also the children are probably the worst little smarks I’ve ever seen. Yes, I frequently come in contact with smarks that make me sigh heavily and ever regret joining social media platforms and dabbling into the wrestling fandom but I digress. The child behind me was saying just about every single match sucked, said Roman Reigns couldn’t wrestle (really kid?), and other shitty things I typically see adults say on twitter like Nia being fat or Alicia Fox having a busted face. Way to go, preteen. Already an asshole.

Oh, and on an unrelated note: A Bayley fan sat in front of me. Adorable little girl, really sobbed to hell when Bayley lost.

I laughed, I know it’s cruel but….yeah I cackled.

Something I thought was VERY interesting was the reception to Roman. It was very John Cena like, half the arena loved him, half hated him. At some points, the crowd unanimously booed. However, when Roman geared up for that spear and went for his classic “ooaahhh”, every single person belted it out with him in unison; something I frequently confused with boos while watching at home.

So you can’t ever say that Roman doesn’t connect with the fans.

I also didn’t have an experience with persistent males trying to strike up a conversation with me or ask for my number, unlike the last time I went to a WWE show. I’m not sure if it was because I went with a male, or because my exhausted face screamed “look at me and I will ruin your life”; but it was great.

The show was okay, the atmosphere felt like the stupid part of Twitter coming to life…but, it was nice. I just really need to see SmackDown live or stick to house shows.

 

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The Raw Bits: All About Survivor Series (Highlights 11/7/16)

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The show opens up allowing us to learn that RAW is currently in Glasgow. Yes, this was filmed practically half a day in advance, and the crowd will be especially censored and filtered before us dirty Americans see it.

JeriKO: Oh Captains My Captains

Yes, you read it correctly. The Universal Champion Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens (shades of LayCool for sure), are going to be the co-captains for team RAW on Survivor Series. I don’t know what’s better, the fact that they’re somehow sharing this championship, or that they bad mouthed the Shield and proceeded to pretend that Braun wasn’t even there.

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Cesaro takes great offense!

Not really, he made a point of saying that if The Club really wanted to grind his gears, that they’d just say he was the third member of their little group. Well hot damn, drop the mic and moonwalk right outta there. He was killing it with the smack talk, even against his own teammate Rooster! I mean, Sheamus. His name is Sheamus.

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There really wasn’t much to this episode of RAW. Most of it was setting up the matches for Survivor Series so everyone knew what the teams were. I suspect the exact same will happen for SmackDown tomorrow. Eh, maybe next week things will go back to normal.

 

The Raw Bits: Highlights (10/17/16)

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Well, the beginning of Monday Night Raw saw the birth of Sparkle Crotch (aka Chris Jericho), so that was something. The crowd now has a new favorite chant to say, but ya know if Roman Reigns said it the boos would be heard all the way in New Zealand.

Lots of Little Gems

I’ve been really bored all day. I don’t know what it is, but this episode of Raw just couldn’t keep my attention. Sure there were lots of little gems like the JeriKO romantic dispute, or Cesaro’s Facebok livestream during Sheamus’ match. Sami was a great man of the people, finally stepping up to Braun Strowman (totally didn’t end well). Hell, the brawl between Rusev and Roman was kind of entertaining once you got passed that very long Rusev family history.

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TJ Perkins might like video games.

Honestly I’m not too sure about this one. I know they constantly make game references, use the vernacular associated with gaming, but I’m not sure. I mean, what games does he like exactly? For all we know, he could be a massive fan of mind games. Are they beating us over the head with all of these gaming references because he likes video games? Or is there something more? What is the meaning of video games? Can you tell a lot about a man by his favorite game? Favorite console? This is just getting too deep for me to keep up.

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As for Brock and Goldberg: I don’t care. I despise Brock Lesnar, I’m indifferent with Goldberg, but I really loathe Brock Lesnar. It just needs to be Tuesday already so I can watch SmackDown!

Side Note: Goldberg’s entrance is dramatic as fuck, as the kids say.

Extra Side Note: He seemed so happy to be back, it was adorable.

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The Raw Bits: Highlights (10/10/16)

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Monday Night Raw started with the crowd welcoming WWE Women’s Champion Sasha Banks to the ring. Chants of “you deserve it” filled the arena, and quite frankly I’m not sure how I feel about that. It seems like every time the crowd chants those words, they turn on the performer within a month, seeming to be bored and over with their new champ anyway.

Rusev interrupts the Queen

Rusev and Lana interrupted the great queen Charlotte’s entrance as she made her way to the ring to accept Sasha’s challenge for a Hell in a Cell match. First of all: how dare you? Second of all yes give me more of this, this segment was great and Charlotte did a damn good job of making sure they knew to never steal the spotlight from the queen. Third: Women’s Hell in a Cell Match: YES!!!

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Sheamus has no idea who he is

Sheamus has an identity crisis, it’s very clear with the fact that he came out during Cesaro’s entrance. Sure, one could see this as Sheamus establishing dominance and asserting the idea that he’s better than Cesaro. However, I think it’s more that Sheamus just has no idea who he is anymore. He wants to believe that he’s as great and beloved as Cesaro. A noble goal to try and accomplish, but he’s no Swiss Superman.

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Chris Jericho’s PayDay #Sponsored

We just need to take a moment to appreciate how good of a guy R-Truth is. He heard Jericho’s dilemma and offered him the candy bar. Sure, it wasn’t what Jericho was talking about but damn it, that was so nice of Truth! In the end Jericho didn’t get his candy bar, but hopefully he’s getting a great pay day.

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All things Jericho.

I realized that most of the rest of this post would just be about Chris Jericho, because he’s been killing it this evening.So, I’ll finish it up this way. Chris Jericho in the ring with Kevin, Foley, and Stephanie: fantastic. Chris Jericho backstage with Kevin Owens and Tom Phillips: hilarious. Chris Jericho with Stephanie discussing the power of friendship: incredible. I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m finding Jericho to be pretty damn entertaining. It’s a bit ridiculous, I feel like I have to put him on my lit for being too much.

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The beginning of RAW was pretty good,but as per usual I started to lose interest midway through hour two. I can’t help it, the program is just so damn long and I have the attention span of a goldfish.

The Raw Bits: 9/12/16

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Here are all the bits I liked or I downright despised about Monday Night RAW from September 12, 2016.

Opening Segment

The opening segment featuring: Mick Foley, Sasha Banks,Charlotte, Dana Brooke, and Bayley was fantastic. Charlotte has stepped up her gave as a heel by about several notches and she is thoroughly entertaining. In addition to that: Bayley’s bashfully adorable, Dana’s a ticking time bomb of hate against Charlotte, and Sasha has enough attitude to last her several lifetimes.

My favorite bit would have to be Sasha’s jacket being hurled into Charlotte’s face. Look, she clearly didn’t throw it. All she wanted was for Charlotte to hang it up for her, but instead, for some odd reason Charlotte felt the need to use her own face to do so.

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Sami Zayn & Chris Jericho

I loved this entire segment, mostly because it’s Chris Jericho hyping up his relationship with Kevin Owens and shoving it down Sami Zayn’s throat. It’s like watching the new girlfriend wave her brand new passionate relationship in front of the ex and it’s a beautiful argument that ends in Sami calling Jericho nothing more than Kevin Owens’ bitch.

Clearly Sami is jealous that Kevin never supported him the way Chris supports Kevin, he just wants a loving relationship like JeriKO has!

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Nia Jax Decimates Alicia Fox

My god, she speared her right through the barricade. That’s all you need, she destroyed her, and it was incredible.

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Kevin Owens Putting Seth Rollins In Place

Listen, we all know that Kevin is the new golden boy for Triple H. Seth’s taking Randy’s place as the ginger step child tossed to the side and forgotten and he doesn’t like it. Ya know what I like? Kevin making everything seem so much worse by pointing out to Seth that Triple H no longer supports him. Ah, nothing like getting abandoned by your father.

I’m here for banter between Seth and Kevin, nothing like watching two grown men argue like children and make fun of Seth’s cackling while they’re at it.

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Overall, I’m pretty happy with RAW. Was it a five star event and every waking moment was incredible? Nope, of course not, and I don’t think there’s ever going to be an episode of any show where it’s perfect from start to finish. Start was great, middle was good, finish was awesome! I was more entertained than I was bored throughout the program and that sounds like a win to me.

WWE: Blame Charlotte, Not Us!

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Do you remember Vince’s old attitude? How it was all about having brass balls? Basically, he ran these two shows that did whatever he wanted? There were matches against God (wow, I know), bra-and-panty matches…some in mud, that’s always fun! There were raids against neighboring territories, a crazy old man on commentary that had such an obsession with ‘puppies’ that he should have gone with David Duchovny for sex-rehabilitation.

Or you know, probably should have had charges filed against him.

Still, WWE has been known as always pushing and raising the bar, and were they ever apologetic?

Nah. They stuck to what they did.

You don’t want to see God in a match? Well, too bad, take your hurt feelings elsewhere because it’s about to get holy up in here. Didn’t like seeing a casket holding Big Show’s father in it? Eh, that’s minor! We here at WWE laugh at the dead.

Which is exactly what they did on Monday Night RAW for the November 16th episode. Technically they didn’t laugh per se, but they did make a segment out of the death of Reid Flair during Charlotte Flair’s main event contract signing with Paige.

Oh boy, where to even begin when it comes to this subject? It seems as though it should be touched with a 40 foot cattle prod. Whether or not it’s actually morally decent of them to use him and his name as such is an entirely different discussion to be had over coffee, perhaps with security nearby to keep the very divided fans at bay.

Let’s forget for a moment about how tasteless or genius this comment was received. The real focus right now is the accountability.

Who the hell gave it the A-O-kay, hmm?

Did the parents Elizabeth and Ric Flair give it the okay?

No, they did not. They were not asked, nor did they approve this part of the segment to happen on Monday Night RAW.

Well then, that only leaves for one person to have been accountable in giving this the okay. That would be Charlotte Flair, whom WWE even insists was the one who pushed this forward.

Hmmm….interesting.

Now on his own podcast, Ric Flair stated that he doesn’t believe Charlotte gave it the okay. Seeing as how she’s still fresh on the main stage, she isn’t exactly in a position to say no. She has no seniority, no veteran’s say in regards to what she will and will not do once she’s in front of the cameras. Now, once you’re given an opportunity no matter what, you kind of have to just roll with it, right? Or, sit on the bench in the ice-box where all other forgotten talents are, hidden away from the camera.

Now, regardless of the sour taste it left in the mouths of many, let’s get one thing clear here, WWE. Take some accountability and responsibility when it comes to your product! You’ve pushed something out and saw it had received negative backlash, so what do you do? Blame it on the sister of the dead in which you spoke ill off?

Now that is tasteless and a prime example of cowardice. What happened to those brass balls Vince used to tote around so much? I had no idea that a ‘PG’ rating actually stood for ‘No Integrity’. Take responsibility for the product you’ve put out. Rather than blame it on the talent, why not something like.

“We realize we’ve done something incredibly insensitive, and we sincerely apologize” rather than something like “Yeah well she said it’s okay so everybody can forget this now pretty please.”

This action just seems to add on to the issues plaguing WWE these days, no integrity to stand behind what’s been done. This is just as bad as having someone win RAW, only to have them lose on SmackDown just to keep both sides of the coin happy.

Stick with your guns, or your brass balls, man.

Why SmackDown is Infuriatingly Bad

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Let’s face it, SmackDown is a complete and utter joke and has been for quite some time. Granted, there are instances in which SmackDown doesn’t seem to be such an atrocity–but lately those are rare.

Now just why is SmackDown so infuriatingly bad?

For one, it’s an awful recap of RAW. As though RAW doesn’t offer enough recaps during the show as it is, SmackDown is comprised completely of reminders of events that took place on Monday night. Not just in the form of clips being replayed either–but actual matches. What’s so disheartening is that these matches are mostly in place to ensure that the loser from Monday night gets a win, that way no one goes home with sour feelings. It’s as though whoever is in charge of these matches is afraid of upsetting people. Huh, what an interesting concept.

Everyone wins! Give EVERYONE a belt for participation then, that’s basically the equivalent of what’s happening.

Or in the rare event that it’s not a match being repeated from Monday night–it’s just something that was thrown together. I imagine the process is like taking a bunch of arrows with the wrestler’s heads on them and just chucking them to a dart board and seeing which two land the closest together. Rather than actually develop something remotely compelling, they stick two people together randomly for a two minute match so they have enough time to show a twenty minute segment from RAW.

Though a personal favorite is always when the gang all packs up and goes overseas. It leaves SmackDown in shambles, as mostly anyone involved in a storyline is cast away to do live events. In the mean time, people who haven’t been on television for months or who have absolutely nothing happening at the moment put on a lovely two minute match as filler time before the video package of RAW is ready to play.

It’s just so unfortunate what SmackDown has become. A joke of the WWE: A recap show of  Monday night consisting mostly of commercials and disappointment.

Yay!